just like that...

2008-11-23T23:46:00.003+08:00

today i had a fantastic day. its a happy happy day.
its a pity it has ended.. but at least i have beautiful memories.
i LLLLLLLOVEEEEEEEEEEEE beautiful memories. dun we all???

it was a beautiful sunday morning!
trex at work
bro off.
me off.
monster at home.
brat at home.

laze whole morning.
made plans.
we went to walk walk at IMM...
walking here and walking there

gosh i told u i suck at telling my day.
rose and becca was saying i nv update.
anyways aft that we went to see grams.
fantastic fantastic. everyone was home!

but instead of eating downstairs. we tapoa back.
uncle richard say the food not nice when eaten at home. haha..

took a cab home. the cabby was nice. but talked a lil too much for tired us.
in the end he switched off meter earlier coz we wanted to go by lower delta.
then he said ther got accident. so he will go by bt mearah and then at kampong bahru, he will switch off meter. ahaha. sweet rite.

seldom see this kinda ppl.
and then when we got up the lift. with another guy. he also so nice.
smile at us and hold the lift for moni to come back in coz she went out the lift to give him space out.

its sweet. so many nice ppl today.

i'm wanna watch rose dvd now.. provided moni passes it to me..

i love u guys.
i kinda changed my mind. i shall juz update wat crap i have.
weather its worth reading or blogging or watever.
i shant care.

ps: my eng sucks when i'm rushing to blog.. oh mans. how shameful.

2008-11-13T20:25:00.002+08:00

i havent blogged. coz i've got nothing interesting to say.
well.. i'm not interested in whining.
neither am i interested in bitching.
or writing abt my life and future plans..

sigh..
oh i know.!!! i cld write how i'm dwelling over to get a new hp.
i am so so so in love with a pda.
if only i am rich. i wldnt have to think so much..

sobs sobs.

love
steph

2008-08-17T22:33:00.002+08:00

feeling all alone.
feeling no one to depend on.
wish i had answers.
wish i had a shoulder to cry on.
wish i could be stronger.

p/s: i know there is love all ard me. but sometimes the love doesnt seem enough. i shallclose my eyes, take a deep breathe and open em again. perhaps i will realise that i was doing a head stand all these while looking at the world upside down. its time to look at it the right way.

2008-08-16T11:58:00.003+08:00

she woke up this morning and had a bad start. feeling totally smashed agaisnt the wall. nothing new. the same all crap she always had to face..

i am so pissed with the whole wide world. money money money!
anyways i accompanied moni downstairs to buy her makan before she left for zoo!!! the shop uncle so funny. monica was like 2 pkt rice. he was like oh! 2 pkt meesiam? moni was like err.. no no. 2 pkt rice. and uncle went. oki oki. 2 pkt meesiam.. and went to take the rice pkt. and smiled at us. -.- siow ar that uncle. so funny. we looked at each other and gave the WAT ONLY FACe!

wanted to buy packet food for fam. but too ex. and besides there wasnt anything nice either!.

so moni suggested prata. coz its easier and cheaper. i bought 8! 2 for dan 2 for trex. and 2 for chits and one each for amma and me!.

when i came hm. i passed the food. i went to amma hse to eat my share. chits was being annoying as usual. she wanted money! and i didnt hv coz i didnt draw and she was creating such a pariah scene. wtf. i owe u a living is it. walau eh. aft tt amma another one. complained to me abt some changed of appt that the posted to her. cannot juz shut up and go ar. she action action not happy the postpone coz the doc on leave and she asked me to call and tell them she gg overseas cannot make it. and then bla bla bla bla tell me go pay mummy citibank. wakaoz. my head wanna burst. wat a shitty sat morning. i think heaven also crying for me. coz it started to rain! .. :X

stupid chits. called mum and mum asked me to pass to her. i was shouting i was like I DUN HAVE RITE!... breath in breath out! and when i came hm i saw the prata not eaten and trex not at home. that idiot muz hv gone down to buy food. even after i passed him the prata. wah lau. i so angry k. dunno y. juz pissed!

and when dan woke up. i told him he got prata he angry. i wan eat prawn mee. i dun like prata. and make a bitch fuss. i jus ignored la. dun wan then dun eat la! to tops. my uniform wasnt iron! go ahead and judge me but it was my time to make a bitch fuss. i yelled. simple things like this also that stupid chits cannot follow up. at least tell me la. so i can iron rite. only good for asking me money. and doing shit. i dun wan eat. force me eat and keep calling me, i need uniform nobody shit cares!!!. taht time mamaa yelled at her. i still told him. aiya. not her fault wat its my duty to make sure i got uniform. she not obliged to iron for me. but sometimes i tell u i am fed up with her being useless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nvm nvm . dun wanna complain!

yesterday had a good fanstastic day. when picnic with loves. benji is an awesome swimmer. hahaha. but he is so timid. i didnt know how close he is w moni. keep following her. keep finding for her. kinda irritating. haha. yea yea i jealous. cannot ar. i gonna get my own chi hua hua!.. muahaa.. anyways. he so cute. he can relax relax on the sunny beach.! :)

i didnt swim much. dun like to get dirty! :X i didnt want to wet my hair. but stupid moni dragged and pushed me into the water!!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaargh.

aft the whole relaxing day . fun day. expensive day. taxi ride day. we went hm and decided to catch 11 plus show. since dan no sch. and everyone can wake up realatively late. spend time w rach and amanda. went crazy at vivo. tired and stuff. and finally watch meet dave. i tell u that show is BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! waste money only. gee.

rather watch love guru.

okie gtg and get ready for work

trex is shwoing his typical shit face.

poor dan. all alone. bah

ps: i think dan trying to be funny. everytime he know i morning shft. he will ask me come back early to teach him. but he bull shit. coz when i came back early. he will say no need. i know. its juz his trick! grr..

love u folks. my entry is shitty. coz i feel shitty.

early in the morning

2008-08-10T09:07:00.002+08:00

i think its awewsome having blogs, among love ones so that we can update each other -sort of in away. btw i read every single blog entry of moni's and i kinda love it. its like she talking to me.

even when i'm with her i cld hardly tell what is inside her brains man! i guess 3/4 of the time and almost 3/4 of the time i am right. but sometime i find blogging a chore. and somtimes i dun really remember what i wanna say. sometimes i feel its boriing saying the same shit all over again

ex:
a day with trex
my worries abt dan which i dun do anyting abt.
and yada yaday

btw,
i forgot to put in two things. i'm evil. from today. i am gonna ignore phone calls frm amma hse. really. esp when i pissed. firstly y bother picking up when i know i'm juz gonna end up yelling at them? 2ndly y bother answering when u know wat qsnturn the gonna ask u? turn ard and point ur finger and ask me.! how dare u! what if its urgent or something. well juz too bad. coz i always have bad experience and thus my current decision. maybe when i'm in a better mood then i shall entertain.

i say naaans at LJ. she pretty man. like the drop dead kinda pretty. esp when her hair is tired up so neatly with that bandanna. i was grinning when i walked up to her. and i said hi naans! i wan cclam chowder. and u knw wat nanaan said. i cant give u free. wahahhaaha..
becca was like oei! who asking u for free!!! but in the end i still got it free after all. coz when her colleague passed it to her to passed it to me she was like nah free! then her colleague wat like WHAT? and naans wat like i tot free? and her colleague kinda rolled her eyes and went like aah.. watdever kinda pattern and oki oki fine..

i was amused a while. and free lei. y not. so we juz left la.
FIRST TIME I GOT FREE CLAM CHOWDER! MUAHAHA.

ITS almost 930 and dan and moni still sleeping :(
dan can sleep man. he sleeps earlier than me and wakes up later tahn me! bah!..
if i get too bored i shall wake moni up !

2008-08-10T08:43:00.002+08:00

i had a fantastic couple of days!!..
i managed to meet up w gnana. its been forever since i saw her.
since i left school. i felt almost guity seeing her. and almost ashamed. almost?? let me take it back. i was ashamed. i mean what kind of friend am i who never contact her and cldnt be bothered to drop msgs to her. i dunno what my problem is.. but yea. i nv cease to take my hp to drop msgs unless its like a mega once in a blue moon! its a shame i left in less than 2 hrs. ggnana and emily were angry with me.!! gee! but very true. nv time when meet up muz not have any other plans!!!!!!!!!!!!! (repeat this a million times in head)!

most of the time i juz dunno what to day and how to start. and how are u. thinking of u. hope u are doing well and missing u becomes phoney when done too many times. which is y i juz keep quiet almost all the time. gee. i shld learn wat to do man.

anyways. its fantastic that i met becca up the couple of two days. and even more fantastic that we dropped by at out cousins place. she is another person i havent seen forever and forver and forever more! her baby is so cute. and so friendly and clever i juz wanna pop by there again and again and again. we juz kept talking about old times and updating each other. and laughing!!

the only thing that sucked is that i stay so far man! I told becca!! when we gett our new place. must must all buy near near. but aft taht i was thinking its not her lor. its me. she most prob buy around that area rite. after all everyone she knows stay ther.. BUT ME!

but then again rite, she told me she gonna buy central area!!! hahaha. i so whiney. keep complaning abt distance in sg. wat abt those overseas man. how do they see their relatives and stuff. maybe the ans is car??

its something like how one cannot be 'fat in the middle' its either u are slim or very very huge. (becca should be familiar with this topic!) haha. cannot be bothered to elaborate.

btw, juz wondering since when becca calls herself kentang girl?? haha.
and moni ur new blog sibei hard to rmb lei.

2008-08-05T12:23:00.002+08:00

yay! i survived 2 nights finally..
cannot tahan night shift. its so bloody long hrs man..

although i only had one admission my first nite and no admissions on my 2nd night,

my nite was filled with changing soiled linen. hate it. bah. thinking of making a list of what useful things to do and guess what i realised i cant exactly think of any. trala..

so today. if my plans work out well,
i'm gonna go to tampiness ikea
and buffet at sakae sushi.! :)
daniel was like u say only u wan to bring me but u nv.
but actally!! he himself action paction. say he dun wan go and wats so nice abt sushi. -.- ppl..

p/s: i scared to eat buffet. i always end up gorging myself (eventhough it is still not enuf to make my money worth).. and then i will feel sick!
i shld start swearing of buffets in a while. take care ..

2008-07-27T23:40:00.004+08:00

i love becca!!!!!!!!!!!!! many many!!!

sorry i forgot to declare my love to u. please forgive me.. i cant stop loving u!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE DECLARATION!!!!

2008-07-27T23:21:00.002+08:00

i was suppose to go out w my buddies aft work today.
but in the end tak jadi. we were so noisy at work. every work day shld be w/o hantu!!!
mamaa fetched me awesome. came straight home to amma.
then fooled ard abit. got so drowsy i dozed an hr on the sofa.

annae kept hurrying us to get ready! :X we were suppose to go to grams. yippee. and it was fantastic. E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y was at home. :):):):) at first moni wasnt coming. that was kinda sad. but like aiyah wadever. in the end she came after work. it was late though. but at least she was ther..

ate like pigs. auntie helen is like the coolest la. she got no airs. i never felt so open with her. and rose is so cheeky! tsk tsk. always love fulfilling days like this. i wanted to watch leap years. becca bought but she chatting with her friends. wait until didnt watch. hmmz.. need to borrow that movie from her !!! wahaha.

oh! my room has brand new bright light. its amazing. i love it. it doesnt look gloomy. its like ta-daa.. waaaah!

2008-07-26T11:15:00.001+08:00

2008-07-26T11:08:00.002+08:00

another day of laziness and having to drag myself to work. oh mans!!!
i have to hang in ther.
i had tons of fun yday.
my day started late though. abt 5. (the whole day i was slacking at home. had plans to go swimming but didnt. it was raining anyway). so i ended up chatting online w faz and mailing becca. decided to look for moni at work and met bex and aloy.. had KFC , ben and jerrys and a whole lot of chatting. it was cool.

slept pretty early last nite. so i ended up waking up at 8. watched tv and went for breaky w grams and moni. read the papers .. saw the time it was 11am. so decided to come online..

that pretty much sums up my time. -.- tadaa!!!

dan is stuck in his mushroom world.
anyways i think monica's siaaness has rubbed on me. bah! she was whining how she dun feel like working today. its so weird. y are there times wherby u're awake and go alrite, i have work to day. its cool. its fine. and other times its like damn it. work again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do u think its the weather? coz the wheather right now is like cool.. come to think if its is very relaxing kinda cool. muz be the weather!

2008-07-25T14:32:00.001+08:00

a rare moment of monkeying around. go ahead and laugh!!..

i'm gonna be so dead. haha..

p/s: i so enjoy posting pics. let me go find somemore!!!

morning!

2008-07-25T09:54:00.002+08:00

they all love the beds :)

its my off day. and i dun exactly have plans. well i had... but if fell through.

yday i watched the movie x-files. its was oki. kinda mysterious. it revolved ard a missing agent that lead the entire movie to some experiments...

juz woke up. feeling kinda stoned. i think i shld date the tv. go read the papers now and check out wat good cartoons/shows they have. been trying to get trex to subscribe the cartoon package but in vain. he said he's fine w it. and he do it. but till now no news. i enjoy those channels. i can stayed glued all day long to the tv at cuzzies.

GOOD morning!

2008-07-22T09:26:00.003+08:00

flying benji!

i sit like a man. benji says!

i look horrible. but i like this shot. haha..

cheeky!

:)

GOOD MORNING PPL OF THE WORLD!!!

i didnt expect to wake up so early. i'm suppose to follow grams to market but i havent called her yet or anything. hate gg to the market! bah!..

i muz have slept pretty early yday. moni borrowed some movies. its boring. like wat amanada said arty farty kinda films. maybe i was juz too tired to pay attn. thus i snooozeeed!. bet moni was pissed haha. had to keep my eyes open. and she was checking on me on and off. but i kidna told her that if i slp, i will juz slp. so i guess that i why she didnt wake me up. if not she will go BORING LA U!. TMR U NITE RITE? CAN DUN WASTE IT MY SLEEPING EARLY NOTEs??! bla bla. but i really had a super busy day yday at work. working non-stop. one aft another. cldnt even finish my work at 930pm!!!

today i am night.. gonna be absolutely stoned!. yawns.

me feeling lonely rite now. everyone is sleeping. yea..

2008-07-20T21:38:00.004+08:00

i am so happy. well kinda.
i'm happy coz i finally got to organise my stuff. it been a long awaited thing for me to do.

i spend last nite at cuzzie. it was nice... spending time and slacking. although stupid becca was snoozing off. she most probably curse me and say. WHAT!!! wher got!! u also not in the room. always out of the ROOM!!!.. haha. juz kidding she isnt as unglam as i make her out to be.. gee..

anyways.. nana wasnt at home. she went out w her frens. boo hoo. but it was okie. coz we spend today at vivo and watched a movie. hellboy 2. its good. v action and not to gory. the only thing is that i didnt catch hellboy 1. mental note: to borrow it..

rose is a sweetheart. she went home early yday!!! hahaha.. she said coz she wanted to accompany...

i have so many things to share. i dunno whre to start.
well,my leave ends today. but i have no regrets.

i spend most of my time w mumsi dearest. i cld go into a whole drama emo me. but hell i shall not keep sad sobby memories.

managed to catch up with all my loved ones. esp faz. its been donkey years.
well that day made up for it didnt it.. i'm glad u managed to chose something u like. u rawk babe.
inally met up w shan before she became mrs wen. tt craziee girl. still the same. everytime see u i get high.
in exception of some. muz go find them soon!!!!!!!!!!!

its cool having my new lappy. coz my old one was cranky and it sucked gg online. yea. so now i shall be updating faithfully. i shld hv no probs. hell my stuff are organised juz the way i like it.. i shall even post some crappy pics to prove. haha. sorry my tots are disorganised.

anyways me wndering if nana will come online. she is always quiet when thre r others ard. only with me alone she so noisy. shrugs. she looked zombiefied today. ya la. everyday go out of course zombie rite. haha. speak of the devil. she juz rang me....!!!!.. awesome!!! she coming online in 5 mins time.. wahaha..

p/s: dear becca. i love u. for eveything. u being strong. u being there. for juz letting me know i can find u no matter wher no matter what no matter when. thanks. for everything.

i always knew rose was crazy. she bites and scratches me!!!.

rose baby. she can pose i tell u.

rose muz have learnt biting from her baby.

2008-04-21T10:41:00.004+08:00

i am extremely tired today.
feeling very sleepy. part of me wishing i was nite today. so i can sleep my aftnn away.
anyway i was abt to doze off. then i tell myself. dun ask for trouble. later u doze off even more difficult to keep ur eyes peeled. blessing: at least its not a typical burning pm. or maybe YET..

i'm so glad that moni got a job finally. dear moni, i wanna tell u that no matter wat job it is, do it with pride. dun listen to some ppl ( U KNOW WHO?!!) who mock at u and go u want to work like that for the rest of ur life or watever crap la. u get my drift. but of course like what i told u, keep looking aite?

note to daniel:
when u grow older. i dun wan u to blame anyone but urself. advice are all i can give u.
i look at u. and i feel like crying. such a brigh spark with no oxygen to burn.
i wish and i pray for ur best.

i wan u to stop playing maple. or at least play in moderation.
and start studying. its been too many times i have told u before.
when i am pm shift, we hardly met. take yday for example. i came home and u were in bed.
i am now awake and u r in sch.

and those days that we actually meet, my morning and my off days. u are glued to the com.
it hurts me. it hurts my heart. i tried my very best. in the time whereby u look back wondering if ppl around u cld have made a diffrence, i wan to tell u that u didnt allow . esp me.

i tried the hard way i tried the soft way but i failed terribly.

love u.

:)

2008-04-21T10:41:00.003+08:00

okie.. hear i am.. longing for my long awaited off days..
but its not so near..
my fren olivine had a off morning off like that.. maybe a couple of days before the nx off. she was also whining away.. wth. i was thinking if i had her off and she had my off. wldnt it be awesome??? both of us hv our two off days so close to each other and we hv to slog it out till our nx off days. what is happening.. aye! aye!

sigh. and the days i am morning, juz makes me so tired i wanna stone at home! :(
was so happy the couple of days back. coz nana stayed over. although didnt exactly spend every waking minute with her, somehow it was juz diffrent.

itts almost eleven now... in an hr plus plus. i'll be packing my butt to work. todays gonna be a great day coz i'm w my tisa!!! :)
although yday me ollie and tisa were together, it didnt feel like it at all!!!!!!
ollie got deployed. and i was too busy even to go for break! :( but oh wells. in the end we slack a lil after work. was sweet. was nice. if only i had my own car.. i cld spend more time with frens. hell!! talk abt car?? i dun even hv a licence. -.-.

had fun last nite. bonding. and the bunddled chicken inside the bun was simply awesome . :)
had funny dreams. i dreamt that i was warded with a drip on me and i was manipulating my own drip...... gimme a break. espcially hate it when i dream of work! damn.

i woke up at 4 am plus to pee. and stupid moni scared the shit outta me. TWICE! i dunno if she knows. coz i was half in slumberland to point it out to her.

we both didnt hv the aircon on. both our doors were open. when i switched on the light to go to the loo. she went with her ultra awake voice HI GEMZY!!! wa lau eh.
i cant recall wat i told her.. dragged myself to pee. when i come out. i was face to face with heeer. wa lau eh!!!!!!!!!!.. i think i didnt even close the toilet door.. -.-

2nd time i got fright by her!

oh. and i'm on my sofa now. i cannot be bothered w my com chair coz some ppl juz keep stealing it. sofa is comfy.. but kinda crampped ant the com area. i guess i'll make do with it. if i cant..
erm.. i'll juz drag my furniture all over again.

2008-04-13T15:31:00.003+08:00

night shift hours are so long, it always makes me feel the nite will never end. in a bad way of course!!. yday had a helluva busy nite initially. so many admissions came at the same time. crap!!
here i am after a couple of hours of sleep plus plus. didnt wanna waste my time snoozing off.
was surprised to see monster still asleep and her furry billy jean. oh! billy jean is the new nicky for benji. shrugs. monster gave it to him. billy jean juz snoozes along as much as monster does its annoying. he will nv trot outta the room until monster's awake!!!!!!!!!!

hmmz. wonder wat time she slept last nite?? shldnt i be more tired than her. kinda sad. wish she's awake now. yday i had one more nite, and everyone was around. it was like so happening but i cldnt join. its aready 12 plus. (halfway to the end of my sleeping day yet no action)...

maybe coz yday had no trex.
i am very suay. off all the days. his day off have to clash with MINE! WHY!!!! oh WHY!!!!.
then have to stare at each other face and smell the tension in the air.
oki fine... trex aint that bad. but.. aiyah! live in the same house u know already la.

i'm gonna mail mum now.its sad. she always replies me in 2 sentences or less. wish she cld tell me mroe so i can picture. aft mailing mum, i'm gonna mail becca. trying my luck if i get any replies when she's working.

plan for today:
to stick online
to organise songs and pics on lappy
to organise my ipod.
to stick with spoilt brat.
oh ya!! finish watching tom yam gooong.
hahaha.

2008-04-13T15:31:00.002+08:00

my 2nd nite tonight.
night makes me zombied!!!!!!!!! bah.
u knw i always wish that mamaa was beside me.
but recently the feelings kinda intense. its like i really really wan her to be near me.
its sucks how she was alway thre for me but yet i nv really felt it... or for that matter
made sure i felt if or somthing.
i mean its like her being here was a norm. she was always and forever be next to me.
to make it simple. i took her for granted.
it cld all be simple. all i need to do is cry for 7 days continouosly over the phone and ask her to come back. a couple of years back, i was so sure she wld come back. now?? i'm not that sure..

there r a million things constantly swimming on my mind.
ther r a million qsns i have..
sometimes i dunno why i shld feel responsible?
is it normal to be so hard on myself?

but i've learnt a lot since i started working.
i've learnt to give myself that much more allowance.
but as usual. juz when u tot u figured things out already and ready to embark on ur seemingly fool-proof plans, it doesnt seem quite like it.

thats what life is all about aint it?
u nv stop learning.
u nv stop playing.
u juz gotta know the rules and play the game of life!.. bah!

there are so many things i'm a-wishing.
i have decided to start working towards my goals.
for there are things i cant control. but those that i can. i shld.

2008-04-11T22:19:00.005+08:00

finally got my vanilla ice-cream. maple syrup.
but instead of cornflakes, i decided to get koko crunch instead...
becoz cldnt get cornflakes.

monster said koko crunch tasted better than cornflakes.
oh wells...

in the morning did hell of a shopping.

SHOPPING LIST
1. kokocrunch
2. daisy milk
3. magazine.
4. vannila ice-cream
5. lunch for dad
6. flowers

CONT to orchard.
1. taxi
2. aunt anne
3. pepperlunch
4. clothes
5. top the cards up
6. railway

2008-04-11T22:19:00.002+08:00

finally met up w becca after a lonnnnnng time.
it was nice. sorry to keep u waiting!!! :X
had a nice wasteful lazy day at orchard with my loved ones.
walking ard at orchard.
had aunt anne pretzel...
went to pepperlunch.. but i wassss so bloated.
thank goodness shared w monster. she didnt eat much though.i think she wld hv prefered the cow..

she kept saying the chicken tasted as if it was injured! :X

walked blindly somemore .. here and thre. thre and here.
finally ended up at far east.. bought clothes w becca. yumz yumz..

it was late and we were getting tired. said out goodbyes and went to meet trex and the spoilt brat at railway.
back home now. settled. waiting and wondering if becca's coming soon online.

-xoxoxo-

2008-04-09T23:48:00.002+08:00

feeling very emotinally and physically drained.
i keep on gettin screwed up working schedules!!!!!!!!!!!1

its been forever...

i got off .. nite nite.. off off againx...
and have to workkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk until the almost the end of the week just to get another pathetic off nite nite off off againx.

wtf,
why do i need my day offs so close to each other!!!! bloody annoying alrite..
i mean.. i wish its evenly spread so i can get suficient rest. grrr. wat the hell.
hate such rosters. grr grr grr..

tmr i am morning followed by day off.
gonna drop by ayam penyet.
and get that maple vanilla cornflakes.. my new love! :) -slurps-

2008-04-07T19:55:00.002+08:00

extremely extreamly sleepy now.

i surprised myself into signing to blogger and writing a post.

i'm so sleepy i can fall asleep in 20 mins.

hanging on in ther coz i am morning shift tmr.

if i sleep now at 8pm. i'll like wake up at 12 and toss and turn in bed.which is something definately i dun wish to do.

and i stink. coz i have yet to shower.

but i did change my clothes though. hahaha.

daniel is so funny.

when i am doing nothing he wont come to bother me.

when i checking email, chatting on somewher online, he'll stand behind me and stare in the midst of breathing down my neck...

love...love... love

i give up. i gonna have a teeeeny weeeeny slp.

please dear lord, enable me to wake up in a short short while.

btw, my skin sucks

wanna change it.

*holla to moniccccccccccccccaaaaa

2008-04-05T19:21:00.001+08:00

today is trex birthday.
happy birthday trex.
we wanna do something.
but havent decide yet.
might be cooking something...
then fetch him.
i dunno..
shrugs.

anyway... feeling v sianz. dunno y.

CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-04T23:18:00.002+08:00

i'm so confused..........................
i'm gonna get a new lappy........
but i'm confused if i should get a imac or NOT..
if i get an imac (which is my choice NOW)... i definately know which one i'm gonna get .. therefore, save the the energy, time and confusion.

but if i DUN GET an imac then i will have to crack my brain to find out which lappy to get. (obviously my dream is small and lightest. by i fall under the unfortunate category whereby finance is an issue.)

being said that, my options now is imac and 'big heavy lappy'
which the choice is pretty obvious rite?

but everyone's discourging me. esp trex
he said i would hv to get my own programmes for imac and yada yada. dun they all give it in the same package?
i know window doesnt...

watever ever la. gee... want to fork out money also so headache.
i want an imac. it has been like my dream ............. BAH!...

I HAVE AN AWESOME NEW TOY!!!
its called a pink ipod.
it was an impromtu decision .
i'm still fussing over it.
thanks to my dyfunctional ways of maining pics and music.
cant wait to show it off. muahahhaa..

love love. tata
freaking sleepy.

HAPPY 30 mins earlier BIRTHDAY TREX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u r the reason i survive disasters and catastrophes...
coz u r the biggest of them all. if i can survive u... non is a problem..

wahahha.. cant believe i jus said that!!.. ohmigosh.

ta daa. i blogged

2008-03-24T19:38:00.002+08:00

yay! its payday tmr. i love paydays!!!! that's the reason y i worked my ass off at work. damn!!!

anyways.. today is grams birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ammaaaaaaaa....
today was a great day to begin with.
everyone at home.
weather was great.

i had enough rest.
felt like gg out. unfortunately broke and had no wehre to go.
me and moni had a pretty good time.
i hope moni doesnt cut her hair.
i can safely say how good looking hse is with her slightly long hair and emo fringe.
bet she'll curse me and say dun say nice later not nice.
hahaha..

anyway her new good looks come with her new good mood and good chracter.
she's absolutely perrrrrfect today... juz that i pray it last forever..

bro is annoying.
keep calling me and asking wat i did or doing or was is being done for grams bday.
aiyah.. i also dunno what to do ma!!!

so tempted to get a new hp.
y muz things be so bloody expensive that i have to think a million times? :(

to sum it all off,
today was kinda a relaxing wasteful day at home.
daniel is sleeping and i'm suppose to meet becca online at 8.
i can only predict when 8pm comes, i will suddenly be occupied with things.
its almost like a curse. its classic..

well, maybe i shld stop believing . haha..

love my life. i have to. then wat? u gonna love it for be.
bah!!!

i shall go chase benji ard the hse now.

2008-03-19T22:28:00.003+08:00

for fun

2008-03-19T22:28:00.002+08:00

just for fun..
i just finished my round of nite. today is my sleeping day.
i tot my night would nv end.
i kind of hate nite shifts. its always perpecutally busy. and i can get very lonely.
esp when i'm working with some ppl.

i cant understand how some ppl can be so judgemental. and always waiting for you to make a mistake. its taking a toil on me and i fantasize bursting.
i just got into trouble with bro for using his com for ten minutes. i shld hv nv taken chances. anyway, its my fault. me and my big mouth. i happily told him that i used for a while to help my uncle print chicken rice recipe. and he got so pissed off and started yelling at me. he and trex are so similar. if he doesnt change his behaviour soon, guess what, i'm gonna start calling him mini-trex. nah trex jr sounds better. hahah

rite now, i'm all alone in my room. i love being in my room alone. i shld learn how to spend time more with myself and start loving myself more. its all gonna begin with me.
did a lot of soul searching these couple of days.

-decide that i have been caring too much for monster and spoilt brat.
-its high time i learn to give them space to fall and pick themselves up.

u know what upsets me, that i try so hard to please them , to do my upmost best and yet i go unappreciated. not that i even expect appreciation. but at times, i dun even get basic good behavoirs. i make them sound like monsters. but they arent.. they are nice and perfect at times. i juz wish thier nice and perfect side could withstand longer than thier monstrous side.

monster and spoilt brat are locked up nx room. mosnter seem to find new solance in her ham pao pao.

i love cigarette free air. its makes me happy. i juz realised how deprieved i was frm cig free air since trex left.

i feel bad. but since trex left, everything is happier at home. no nagging. no self-pitying. no arguemnents, no shouting.

sometimes i dunno how to help my mum. part of me feels she aint truthful. and she's juz confused. another part of me feels like am i really correct to say that the important thing is to be happy and nothing else matters?

what if in the process to seek happiness, u end up hurting all ur love ones. what is happiness then? if being happy is all that matters, then y is that no matter how much i try to be happy, i start feel more hypocrital???

maybe i'm a bitter person. so bitter that i feel almost obliged to mask it in my daily life. sometimes in the process, i dun know who i am anymore. at times, i feel i speak too much. but it will be too late for me to bite my tongue.
there are many lessons i wanna learn. but hv yet to put into practise.

-such as not too much

i seriously have a proble with my self image.
i come across and too happy-go-lucky.
irresponsible and come what may.
but then again.. y are the ppl ard me so hard -up
life is short. hv a break.
just becoz u are pathetically miserable, i'm not obliged to be ur partner in crime.

oh God, please help me. pls cont to give me the strength to live and smile in this evil world or evil ppl. Amen.

2008-01-22T11:38:00.000+08:00

wow. i havnt blog since last year.. hhahah...
now that i am sitting in front of my lappy. and typing away on my blog, i suddenly feel very silly.. very silly indeed. coz yea. once again i have nothing to share..
besides the bad stuff of course.
but then agian i vowed nv to make my blog sound so whiney. but sometimes i just cant help it.. a girl's gotta whine she has to aye?

maybe i shall start updating abt yday.. or perhaps. my useless/redundant/ fast moving one week leave...

one week is way too long. forget it. yday it shall be.

so yday i was suppose to slack at hm w peishan. she came to look for me.
then i remembered that monster was going to watch a movie w amanda. so halfway i called her. she said faz was there. i got excited. psychoed peishan to join us..

we caught the movie one missed call. pretty silly movie actually .. but wat can i say.. hah.. after that we walked abit at vivo before coming home to wat my 9pm show!!!. :)

i missed 15mins. i'll see if i can go to mobtv to check it out. hehh..

today plans.
-go out w olivine.
-go see kavadi w grams..

2007-12-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

sigh.
i have nothing to blog about
just this its the hol season .. in a way .. but not exactly for me.

x'mas time is here.
merry x'mas!!!

trex is cleaning the house.
moni room is messy.
i'm stoned..
cleaning, eating and watching.
that's what i have been up too.

i havent catch up w my love ones.
i miss them tons.
been forever since i hung out w them.

i wanna catch chipmunk..
i had lotsa plans during my offdays.
unfortunately, they wanted to clean the hse
so much for cleaning..

sigh.. i'm working tmr.
my off days ended. HOW SADDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!

2007-11-28T10:53:00.001+08:00

i have a thought.
i think anger is the most redundant feeling in a human.
i dunno..
but really, y do ppl feel angry for?

in what ways does anger actually help a person?

life is short. we all need to be happy. is it hard to be happy all day long?? gee...
i agree we do need negative feelings to appreciate the positive feelings...
i mean if nothing bad happens, then when good things happens we'll all be like *yawns*...
-.- no adrenaline rush.

why ppl get angry??
coz there is a lack of understanding, mis interpretation between parties..

exampls of anger....
i'm mad at u for being late? (does it help when u are mad at the person for being late? i mean what.. u mad now so next time the person wont be late anymore??? )

i'm mad at u for forgetting this and that? ( will it help that u are mad at the person for forgetinng)..

i dunno if i make sense here.. but i stick to my point that anger sucks!!!!!!!! argh. it makes ppl miserable..... crap to ppl who say fights make ppl closer. hah.
ppl can be close w/o fights alright

2007-11-28T10:53:00.000+08:00

i had a great day yesterday.
went to catch enchanted w siblings and cuzzies. unfortunately, rose was away working!!!.. wat else is new. sigh..

did tons of shopping. hahah.. it was nice.. i've never been this carefee or happy for such a long time. but of course, there was a price to pay. i spend so much.. -.-
i've been feeling rather empty and upset recently, becoz the thought of my probation is so heavy in my mind. i hate it.
its so unfair. i just wanna hide and cry.. but then again.. i've got to stay positive. nothing been said right at my face yet. so hell to them.

2007-11-25T22:02:00.000+08:00

i had the one of the best week of my life.
simply becoz mummy was here...
i didnt realise how happening it can when mum is ard.
she cooks like super yummy food..
its simple yet absolutely delicious..
i have nv eaten so much in a wk before.. -blush- guilty. guilty..

today i saw tt cute cute doc. he said hi to me. haha. he was standing right next to me but i was too blur to realise.. haha.
i was of course pleasantly surrpise to see him/. but sigh.. instead of telling him i missed him.. i was juz grinning dumbly. shrugs.
anyway he asked me to assist in bld taking. i was like -.-... so i told him. u hate me is it.. and i accidentally banged my files in a mocking annoyed way. hah.
unfortunately, some student was gonna assist him. in a way good, so i can cont my work. but bad, u knw, i spend less time w him.. wahaha. but he made my day nontheless.

works been a bitch when tt bitch is ard. i dun even think cursing her on my blog in worth it . so bye.

2007-11-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

just started work again not long ago.. how my hols seemed to fly.
at this exact moment, i'm wondering wat i blogged about the last time. and when was the last time i blogged..
oh wells:X wat can i say...
been having tons of fun w mummy. she cooks the best yet ever!!!!! am i gonna miss her..
the upsetting thing is that she wasnt here during my hols.
every am shift i spend time w her.. but my energies drained.
been feeling damn fucked up. and like the worlds biggest fool!..

wat do u do when u suddenly feel the person u gave urself wholeheartedly is just phoney..
wat do u do when u find out hte person u suppose to know almost all ur life turns up crappy..
its just another selfish predicament in a selfish world.
yet i cannot bear it no longer..
and u know wats the most painful of all.
i bet my life this particular person wouldnt even realise that i'm talking about this particular person and even more painful is that i never tot i would be so affected and writing this redundant entry about this particular person..

gosh.. am i ever a failure..
been feeling particuarly pissed off..
broke
sick
and feeling damn damn damn tired. wth.. i just came back from my leave. it aint right to be tired! aaaaaaaargh~!

2007-11-07T20:55:00.000+08:00

happy deepavalli. but know something? i aint feeling the best of moods. things have happened over a short span...(it sucks that my uncle aint here to be with us). grr!

its annoying having to accomodate the whole world. sometimes i feel very imcompetent. and at others times i feel like the worlds biggest loser. i should learn to start being selfish and start thinking more about myself.

i dunno who to blame for having siblings who think the world of their own. their rudeness. thier attitude. i tot it was over when she burst on that fateful day. i kept it painfully buried in my heart... wondering how it could have been different... i tried to act like nothing happened. it was impossible...

i hate being me.. at least at this point of time.
perpectually screwed. its my fault. all mine. i should have just tot of what made me happy...and do what i wanted... why do i care just becoz i have to? afterall only if u r happy can u make others happy yea?..

i'm sorry. i just wish we could be happy. i wish i cld get a msg or a call from u. i dun even how to begin.

2007-11-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

i'm aftnn tmr. but i have to go for a talk. its at 11. i hate going for talks esp at my own time. y do they torture me like that? today i went for another talk. ended at 4 plus. it was so pathetic i started to fall asleep. damnit..

had a couple of pleasant surprises.adelene looked for me. its been ages since i saw her. she went to kk for her check up . she preggy w a son. 5months. awesome aint it?? we chatted a while. before i went of the talk. after that i went to toilet to change. and i saw her ..!! again!. it was so sweet. we chatted again. this time that much longer. before we bid each other farewell...

the other surprise was amma was waiting at lilttle india station for me. she and her marketting. i walked there. after that we went to makan dosai... i wanted to order vadai and payassam. amma laughed at me.. and gave me that look. wah eat so much face. but atlas there was no payassam. haha...

i dozed off embarassingly in the bus. my head was bobbing left right centre. sigh. when i got off the bus, i received a call from becca dear. ahaha. she was bored. spoke to her a little while before i told her tt i would call ehr back at home. finally reached home. got settled. spoke to bex. dumped the phone to monster and i didnt even know that i dozed of on my bed. -.-
slept till 10.. woke up to roti john. tasted like heaven. ymz yumz..

after tt decided to show my face at amma hse. i got yelled at by tt stupid auntie of mine. coz i was playing. i went like mucho get her. and tt dog must really hate her. he really went to get her and bit her.. it wasnt tt BIg BIg bite. it was my fault la. but the way she cursed me.. gee. biatch.
i was a bigger bitch la. i went la .. hey dun be blardy rude oki. money dunno how to pay me. know how to school me. then i ignored her.

cant wait for next week. so near.. so near.. but it feels forever..
p/s: i'm kinda sad. heard my uncle wont be here for deepavalli. where is the spirit man?? wats w all these ppl? i regret takin leave during deepavalli. i tot it would be double excitement and stuff. i should have known better.

2007-10-29T14:23:00.001+08:00

came home from ikea. spend a bomb. bough lotsa lotsa food.
its kinda sad coz when i went to amma hm, all of them didnt eat. only chits ate 2 chicken wings. annae was sleeping and mamaa din eat. grr! always thats the case.

daniel dear had fun eathing though lol. we're all in trex's room. monster is watching despo hsewife. dan is trying to slp. he has school tmr and i'm in the dark typing away. i can say my typing skills are great. coz.. i can hardly see but i'm typing in the dark.. whahaha..

alright. one helluva lots of fun day!!!. its always fun when i spend w my loved ones. it was strictly a girls dayout. heh. can u imagine. all of us together!! no missing girls. grinx grinx grinx. ate a whole lots of variety... together. waited for rose to join us. :)

rose is freaky i tell u. she has some weird hidden talent or something. i dunno wat she did with her choco mousse and her tongue. and she manuvoured it made the mousse come out the shape of her tongue. -faints- monster tried to imitate her but failed rather miserably. hahaha. it came out looking like shit. :X

next we went walking around aimlessly. my all time favourite. the children section. for obvious reasons. my childhood fantasies. anyway.. stupid monster and skank and to be up to their no good mischief. ran away.. and leave me nana and rose all alone. i shld have killed monster for making me carry her bag. and when i called both of them a million times, they didnt answere okie!!!.. finally saw them and they were both grinning like its the biggest funniest shit. i could hv killed them both. but atlas i was too tired. muahhhaha..

it was unfortunate!! i think if the whole group of us had walked ard together, we could have fooled ard tons more!!!!!!!!

ate chicken wings,
lakasa
hotdog bread.
ice-cream..

gosh oh gosh. after that we walked to queestown shopping centre.. and chatted. i bought the cup corn. it tasted disgusting. uncooked. we walked and walked. i was looking for sandals.. but they didnt have my size.. sobs.
when dan called, we went back to ikea and bought food. said our goodbye and took a cab back..

p.s: my blog is like a record of what i did the whole day. wth. its suppose to be with feelings. here and there. my blog seems so emotionless. oh man.

cant wait for my date w becca tmr. and come to think of it, i'm still waiting for her to come online. where is sheeeeeeee.????

2007-10-29T14:23:00.000+08:00

POST NIGHT ENTRY!!!

i just finished my night. oh my goodness. it seems like forever..
had the most busiest ever couple of night that i could recall. the only consolation is that time flew fast. very very fast.my legs are aching. i hate aching legs. it makes my legs weak. and it feels like jelly.i'm going on leave soon! i can't wait. i hope all the exciting things that have been planned works out. i'm going to IKEA w monster and bex and nana. awesome yea.

this sucks. i have nothing to blog about. oh mans.
maybe coz t'm aft a busy night. came home. (almost missed the stop)... slept ZZzzzzZZz..

p/s: now u know why i dun even bother to update?? wat kinda entry is that. sigh.. -shrugs- i tried my best... thinking of IKEA HOTDOGS NOW> yummy yumz.

i'm having cravings. for delifrance. i wan crabmeat chibatta........i'm so desperade for it i cld almost taste it in my mouth.

2007-10-23T20:16:00.001+08:00

yay yay yay.
i am back...
been spending lots of time away from home.
but since its my loved ones. i do enjoy it obviously.
sometimes i feel i dunno how to balance my time. but then again, i rather think the selfish way. if i am happy. nothin else matters. hmph.

there is so many ppl i wanna go out w . meet w. thank goodness i've been spending time w my everdearest becca. its like trying to cover up the 'lost sec school times' where i love to endearingly tease her .. HER AH LIAN PHRASE> wahhahaha. roll on the floor laughing. now now becca dear. dun u curse me to die laughing. oh wells, i'll die a happy person then.. muaha.

on a serious note. mum is being fickled minded about coming back which is highly annoying. me and becca and getting all excited. planning wat to do during my annual leave. we have even came out with a list. and the top of it!!!???!! a trip to JOHOR BAHRU!

had my blood taken today. by the ward sister. she pricked me twice. :( sobs . apparently the first vein she pricked had a disappearing vein. yea. so i had to be pricked once again the 2nd vein was good! and the bottles got filled up really fast. however she took too much blood. and had to throw some. like bloody OUCH rite. can u imagine ur blood being thrown away in front of u. it was a painful goodbye.
the test is like so annual hospital check up thing. -shrugs- i'm glad i got it over and done with. ever since i entered this line, my blood has been taken upteen times.

i'm off tmr. i shld be rejoicing but nobodys gonna be at home tmr. sista and dad is working. and bro schooling.... sigh. i really wished becca had came over. then my off day wont be tt lonely.................... maybe its high time i spend some ME time w me..

2007-10-18T11:21:00.000+08:00

feeling super blah...
its my off day... i shld hv plans and be skipping around the hse.
true enough.. when trex came hm, i asked him if he's bringin us out. he said no. he's tired.
so i'm thinking of dropping by at grams. came online to see if nana was online. nopes.

i guess i'll leave w moni. slack at grams. and then leave grams to meet w moni and then come home... erm.... yea. i SHLD drag my lappy along. .. c u nananananananannanananananana.

2007-10-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

OPPSSSSSSSSSS!!!
i did it again. yea its been forever since i have updated.
i cannot be bothered to read my last couple of entries. so i shall juz mini updates.
-i cleaned my room. :)
-i have a couple of days off :)
-i am dead broke :(
and i am gettin so irritated coz moni keeps on playing and shouting and thus disrupting my tots.

-oh wells. mum said she's coming back soon. i hope all turns well.
-dad said he is bringin us out tmr.however i wont be surprised if he changes his mind.

i went to KTV twice . first time in my life... had tons of fun.
been going out tons that i got into trouble w trex. nothing new..
oh gosh! my entry sucks. i think i need some momentum.

WATEVER... moni is ironing. dan is fooling around. and i'm like waiting for nans to come online but i doubt she's comin.
i hope i can go over to grans tmr. (keeping fingers crossed).
i was suppose to go over today. but shit happens. trex told me not to go since moni aint going. and becca got so upset. i understand y she is upset. but i dun understand y she is upset w me. i mean.. its not like i meant for this to happen. maybe i shld have asked her to call trex and let her hear what he has to say.

i could have gone after he went to work quietly. as in w/o telling him.but once he says it to my face, how am i to ignore his words?? its like almost BLACK AND WHITE....... argh.
i'm really sorry. :( i really wanted to go over. please dun be mad anymore.

-ive subway cravings.
-still having tons to clean up but gotta do it little by little.
- i'm wondering if there's anything nice on tv now. it seems to me there is only good stuff on tv when i'm working -.-.

it feels really weird bloggin after SOOOOOOOOOOOOO long. it almost feels foreign and i dun like it. heh. i used to have so much fun juz hitting the letters on the keyboard and seeing my thots on print. see.. i feel i'm going psycho. in case u r wondering, pissed becca keeps nagging and buggin at the back of my head. gee... ( i shall juz try my very best to ignore tt buggingness...)

subway i wan subway. subway i wan subway..

2007-08-27T16:33:00.000+08:00

in case u r wondering y the lack of updates, it is becoz there was nothing worth writing or nothing new in my life.

somthing happened yday. trex .. to be continued

2007-08-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm

Much of the time you are preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature. You need stimulation and variation with all matters pertaining to your life. You want to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality being able to charm and influence others. You use powerful strategies with predictable outcomes so as to avoid endangering your chances of success or undermining other people's confidence in you.

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.

i've been way too busy to blog. but today i juz wanna say..

i prayed to God.
i said to him to stop playing cruel jokes.
no doubt i would think it has to make us stronger.
afterall, isnt the most painful lesson the most meaningful and remembered?

2007-07-27T11:48:00.000+08:00

its my off day today. yippee da doo. i love off days.
juz slacking and waiting for moni. its funny coz when i am pm shift and i see her.i will hv lots to crap w her..
but when i have all the time in the world to chat w her, i have nothing to chat w her abt. stewpid rite?? hah.

its be so-so. nothing major happened. feeling v bored and blue recently for no apparent reason. gee. trex bought a pretty new acer com. i'm envious. so nice alright. i tried to ask him to get me one too. he promised. but then again.. knowing him.. nv get ur hopes high. he may get. or may take a v v v vlong time to get or may change his mind. HAH!

trex doesnt know hw to fix it up. he knows. he juz doesnt hv the confidence. and he doesnt trust me enough. he bugs and nags at me at every single thing. i mean if u got no confidence and dunno just shut up and let me do the stuff la. he ar.. so worried this so worried that. installation also muz wait for an hr before he can click next. -hmph- and when i sounded impatient. he gets mad at me and say HEY U BE CAREFUL OKI I GOT TEMPER.. in a v harsh tone.. bla bla bla. -.-.. wat agony.

i made a mistake. aft installing the anti virus software, i was suppose to remove the cd before rebotting the com at the prompt. but as usal being the kan cheong spider he was, he asked me to rebot com! rebot com! while i was juz teeny weeny browsing at somthing. so i rush rush reboot com w the cd la. the nx thing happened, the com cldnt reboot. for obvious reasons. and the screen looked funny. with computer jargons and words like some configuration. and then he started yelling at me for 10 -15 mins. and asking me to call big bro. and saying that i cocked it up. and bla bla. i juz said switch on and off again la. ONCE AGAIN HE NV TRUST ME WHATS. so aft yealling till half an hr. he decided there was no choice but to off and on. then i removed the cd before it rebotted la. and everything was fine again. -.- walau he so drama. we cld have saved 45 mins if not for his yelling. sometimes i wish i cld juz punch him to his senses. annoying. not the first time some more..

anyways, i had fun yday. met up w shan and ranjini and ate like a pig at pizza hut. went shopping!!!!. the previous day went to fish and co w jeevi. and yet i complaining that i am getting fat. i shld be ashamed of myself. gee. but i cant help it. i really hv no appetite during break at work. and i needed comfort plus comfort food okie.

p/s: i really need to organise my cupboard. one big huge fat mess. no thanks to trex bugging me to keep my clothes IMMEDIATELY aft he folds them. so i have no mood/time i juz dump it one big lump in whatever space i cld and now i am suffereing the consequences. all my pretty clothes lost in dunno whre. the lost space in the lost cupboard. BIG BIG SIGH..

moni din go to sch yday. she gave me big surprise when she called me in the middle of pizza hut dinner on video calling. Awesome okie. sigh. video calling shld be free.
i was telling moni tt dumb dumb. she shld have gone yday and skipped today!!!. muahaha. wat a thing to tell her. :X

i have a huge feeling that there was somthing i wanted to type out here but i forgot. oh man.
anyways.. a totally random thinng. i had california sushi.. buy one get one free. yday at carrefour. (or is it someother supermkt? cant rmb) it was clearance sale. at nite. i suddenly got reminded of mom and moni. and the time i spend ther w them... *OUCH..

becca dear, dun be feeling down. me gg to aussie permanently is not a dream. but neither is it so much of a reality. lets just see how its goes and stuff. u know the way my dad talks. HUGS. i'm so looking forward for the day we can juz chill together w faz and dan in aussie and hv havoc w moni and drive my mum craziee. hahahaa. i really pray tt dream comes true.

u know i love u. so take care. thanks for the time u actually bothered to meet up. i'm sorry. i'm juz too lazy. maybe one day aft work i shld juz arrange w u and go over in a 851 aft work. its a straigh bus though.

fazi, U ARE TAKING WAY TOO LONG W THAT HP BOOK!!!! GRRR! i miss u babe........ call me!

2007-07-20T11:32:00.000+08:00

its been forever since i've updated. simply becoz.. i have nothing to update. yea the usual monotone routine life. i need some excitement...

i told shan this and u know wat she said.. she said okie. on thurs, we shall book in a hotel and watch dvds. something which we havent done before.. or along that line la..
then i added.. cool. then we can have some kinky lesbian sex as well. i'm gonna check out some moves on some porn site..

are u all cringing already???! hah. wells oh wells, the reason i even bothered to share with u this is to show how crazy i'm becoming and how so in desperate need of help i am.

anyways that aside..

works been a bitch. more literally my preceptor. she hates me. and its been proven. i can no longer pretend to be optismistic and make excuses such as she was in a bad mood. or that she's always like that.. bla bla bla. coz like i said.. its been proven?? and HOW?? the most cowardly way.. talking behind my back. like wtf.

and even more ridiculous, she said teachng me was making her tired and breathless (so drama mamaa. i then tired lorhx).. which i repeat is ridiculous.. coz she hardly almost NEVER teaches me anything. and i'm not exaggerating her. so how can she make such a comment?? some ppl literally deserve to burn in hell. if u juz dun like me.. say it to my face. or for that matter gimme a god damn reason to hate me. nabei.

i shld try to get a change of preceptor. period.

moni is like the bestest ever. everytime i'm down. she cheers me up with some random msgs. :):):):):) its like we telepathetic or somthing..
but one thing we always fail is meeting each other online. we keep missing each other by the minutes. -shrugs- like the tv u know.. or for tt matter tt song by brian wadeer and who sang white flag???

aiyah.. i dun rmb la. mind block. but i know i hv that song. haha. it goes like u r almost there.. but its not enuf.. yada yayda..

stupid moni wont be online when i'm ultra free.. she will only come when daniel is back. and i hva to pay attn to him. or when .. i have somthing to do..

anyways, daniels getting cooler and bigger. i hope the gap between us doesnt get too big. he goes to be juz like that. and wakes up juz like that.
its been a couple of days he wakes up on his own.. and gets ready.. its good. it show's he's getting matured. but on the other hand.. i feel we are somehw driffting apart. i shld stop feeling so emo.. i might juz start thinking of briging him out today. but hell NO!. i juz wanna slack in the comfort of my own room....

i need some TLC. mroe than ever now.. ouch.

2007-07-11T23:22:00.000+08:00

lifes been sweet and kind to me.
but everytime i say this, life seems to become a drastic change.
so maybe i shld shuddup.
or maybe i shld thank life and say its doing a good job so cont and do better!!!

tmr its my day off.
i love day off. who doesn't? esp when trex is morning.. wahhaha.
but damn it la. i got things to do.. but its okie. coz the nx day i aftnn. (get to wakey wakey late) plus i am going w my faz faz darling..

OH.. talking abt faz.. its not too late to wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!..
hey darling, thanks for always being there for me.. thanks for never giving up on me though i know there are many time u must half felt like that.. -sheepish smile-

tmr i'm gonna collect my cert. so lei cheh..
hey u know... i've been feeling so strongly to buy a car. i mean not that i can afford it.. but i like itching to learn drving..
do u think its sub-con coz i know moni driving??
not really leh.. coz before i know she learning also i wanted my very own transport.. sigh...

I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE AND I WANT MY OWN CAR... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON W ME.. I NV NV NV NV USED TO FEEL SO STRONGLY LIKE THIS. -confused- -pouts-

annae is taking some wt reduction pills. (i think) then i told him I ALSO WANT! then i said.. got work a not. he said how i know. i juz started. then i said if got work then tell me. then i also wan. he said u dun touch my pills. (my bro is a bitch)!! he think i nothing better to do ar.. snooping w his stuff. my things then more interesting than his lorhx..

anyways.. i kinda feel sad that i nv go to grad. juz sad. no regrets. maybe not yet. hahaha. coz i saw others pic. like they all looks so damn good. and happy.. and proud. oh man.. lol..

but mummys not here. mon's not here. so wat if i gown myself up. no ones gonna see me.....

2007-07-08T09:50:00.000+08:00

its been such a long time since i blogged properly.
i juz got reminded how time consuming bloggin is. -.-
haha. moni u dun like dash dot dash rite.. i learn frm u one mah..

anyways nothing exciting has happened in my life
like monotone.. bah. bla. bah.
been eating lots of junkies.
pizza one day.. chicken rice the nx day. lots or mac mac mac.. damn it.. shame on me..
so sinful.
i was whining to shan yday and she cld tell me at least u get to eat. wah piang. make me feel guilty only okie..

today my off day. so damn precious..
and daniel had to whine at me since i woke up.-.-
i got a new toy. its a teddy bear. i 'made it' myself .. it has a heart and a birth cert.
daniel wants one too.. i dun mind getting for him.. but duh!!! he cannot wait. wth..
and when he cant wait.. he does the most favourite thing. MERAJUK. bloody hell la
sigh..

works been a roller coaster ride.. oh wells.. its better than a flat ____________ rite??

daniel been a lucky bitch.
dad keeps bringing him out.
yday to vivo. the day before to ps.
they become akaliao and best frens men.
i hope dan doesnt become a mini trex. though frm the looks of it i dare not say no.

random things i did worth mentioning and i can rmb
i made a teddy
i went to marche (my first time lei)
i met faz and had a feast at mac.
i went for a hair cut. (but i dun feel sexy w my new hair) muahaha..
i bought a pretty dress w pretty shoes.

I HAVE A NEWWWW TEDDY NAMED ARIEL. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy

2007-07-05T19:37:00.001+08:00

this shows moni is too free

2007-07-03T12:03:00.000+08:00

i'm aftnn today.. followed by 3 mornings..

i juz spoke to moni.. i am happy. she is my happy pill...
trex is at the max. he and his craziee mood drving me craziee.
he asked me who was on the line. i was w moni. but i said MY FREN.
yea. i'm evil. but i bet if u were in my circumstances, u will be worst..
anyways..forget it. i dun wanna whine abt him.. aftall i'm gonna get lost outta the hse in an hrs time..

my preceptor's scary...
which makes me intimidated.
and when i am intimidated, i fumble big time.. argh.
i must survive no matter how hard it is.

i've been feeling lonely. all my frens hv their own lifes. its seldom we meet up and chat. i feel sad. i dun like it when circumstances cause us to distance ourselves.
isnt our bonds strong? it makes me feel real upset.

distancing frens. and missing loved one.. OUCH.

2007-07-02T17:05:00.000+08:00

hello! it's moni's invasion time! muahahaha! wah, akka's blog now so glamourous ah? except for that bloody thingy as the arrow. it's disturbing. i dont know how to make it normal. but oh well, bear with it. heh.

rules to akka:
make your fonts colourful.
do not slant your words.
choose a nice font - pls hor, have some pride hor, when blogging! you chin chai bo chap pig!
and choose a cute font size! not too small!

hahahaha! okay wait, start questioning me, is this my blog or your blog. ahh, ya la ya la. im off okay! bet you'd get a shock and think that you'd come to the wrong place. wahaha! bye!

and i just tested. used verdana and the size normal. and u know your pinky words can be changed okay! ollah!

2007-07-02T10:51:00.000+08:00

suddenly i dun feel like saving money...
when i mean dun feel like saving money i do not mean spending unnessarily..

wats the point of saving when u ought to spend at this time..
when will u want the latest trend? NOW ..
when will u want the latest techonology? NOW..
when will u wan the latest gadgets and pretty pretty clothes and accessories??
its like NOW NOW NOW..

so ? isnt it the time now to spend spend spend??

keep money until 50 plus for ur funeral or hosp bills is it??
sianx sia sometimes i think.. grr!!!

i dun like the gst hike.
yday i went for dinner.
and its so expensive
i paid 2 dollars just like that.. for nothing..

u know how much is 2 dollars??
i can buy one packet of food frm the coffeeshop
i can buy 3 yakults.
i can buy 3 can drinks.
i can buy more than one tidbit.

heart pain. but i'm proud of myself. i juz bought for amma and daniel. and pinched a lil frm them.
the result... i dun hv to gain unnecessary weight and my pocket feels that much heavier. muahaha..

watever.. i am in a v bla mood. daniel better stop his current mood swings or his gonna lose his head soon to me!!!

2007-06-27T20:08:00.001+08:00

2007-06-27T16:41:00.000+08:00

oh yea! my new scandal is olivine . she is such a kick ass.

i'm having such an oily hair day but i cannot be bothered to give my hair a bath. aaaarrrgh. wat have i became. tsk tsk.

2007-06-27T16:37:00.000+08:00

i hv never been so farking rich before. i wanna go shopping.
and yesh i hv gotten my pay.. i've waited for this moment since i was born. muahaha

anyways.
yea.
i am rich.
i am busy.
i have another scandal at work.
my CI is the farking coolest ever.

i cant wait for nx wk so i can start shift work.
erm..
my lifes boring. except for the couple of scandals at work.
getting used to it. but hv tons more to learn.

i'm sorry i have nothing to say. actually i have lots. but i'm too lazy to type.
on sat i went to sentosa.
on sun i went to mustaffa and then watched a tamil movie.
on mon i finally went to met faz aft like donkey yeears. and boy do i miss her. :):):):):):):):):)
today is tues and i am here!...
gonna rot my time away w moni. so good bye.

2007-06-22T20:56:00.000+08:00

life's nv been so good.
i have a fantastic new webcam. and i tell u its so farking fantastic.
i have been video conferecing w monster like nobody's business.

and monster had a fantastic new webcam with mic too.
for once annae is such a smart useful fark. muahaha..
okie..

i havent been updating much. coz as usual. i dun hv a life since i started working.
but mini redundant updates.

i have a new scandal at work.
she nice. haha. she makes me laugh. her name is lydia.
so far my batch girls and a few staff have been sweethearts. let hope things always gets better okie.

bless me oh lord!!

tmr is sat. i'm gonna have a fantastic time w my darling. i just know it. i juz hope those two princesses wont be turn offs and dun come.

i gotta run. chattin wmonster and dan wating for me to do smthg for me.

I MISS U U DUMBO FAZ!!! bye just to let u know im thinking of u.

2007-06-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

huh...
the post before this was so lame and short??
it felt long lei. hahaha..

anyways tmr is my daaaaaaaaaaayy off.
and i wannna go out today. :( for obvious reasons.
but its raining..

abt 15 mins ago. i went to disturb dad.
i was like come on dad. lets go out.
then he blur. he was like huh? go wher.
i was like dunno. anywher. nobody's stays at hm when i'm off tmr.
and then i said.. but its raining lei. i tink heaven happy for me thus the tears of joy.

shrugs. yea. craziee me.

today aft work. i called becca. she din ans. i tot of looking for her for a super short while at least. and get the dvd frm her. but she din ans. i was in the bus when i saw her miss call. then i cldnt be bothered to call back la.

went nx door. ate like a pig. came hm n realise spoilt brat not at hm.
he getting frm bad to worse lei. always go dunno wat. HQ.. so annoying. he so rich throw money on HQ. stupid boy. cant he spend his money or smthg more worth it... grrrr

i chatted w mum n moni. as usual, speaking to them puts me in a super duper high spirit. moni has a new toy. its HP. not acer..

moni was like wat is HP. i told her ham pao pao. tt was so random. and she and me burst out laughing. she asked me if it was nice.
i dunno wher her lappie is. i havent seen it. muz be hiding somewhre.. aft this blog i gonna look for her new lappie......

its muz be some laouya heavy one la.. i told moni. she was like HUH. Y? then i said dunno ur father budget meh?? -.-'

daniel coughing a lil.
dad is sick w sorethorat.
they said i brought back virus. :X

mayb lei..
but not my fault rite. sobs ...

i love off days i love off days........................smiles a million times.

2007-06-15T18:18:00.000+08:00

hey my love,

money aint a problem. thanks for ur support. :)
anyways...as they said all good things muz come to an end,
my bad things have too!!!! :)

firstly rite now, i'm in a super high spirits.
coz i am finally well. it feels so good to be well alright.
i have been sick forever that i've forgotten how it is to be well.

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!! the world is beautifullllll.. lalalalalalallalalalalala....

okie cut the story short.
i love u becca dear. i love u faz dear.
i hv small small tings to pass to u all frm moni. hehe..

moni is gonna get a new lappie. awesome isnt it?? good for her..
and i forgot what i wanna rite.. but i'm gonna read becca's blog nnow. and rot w daniel.
me and he have some issues to settle. :X

once again. thanks for the love. coz i felt it...!!!

2007-06-12T20:32:00.000+08:00

i had the most fucked up dream ever..
i dreamt i got shot..
matrix style.

i dodged the bullets.
but as i dodged one..
another came and hit me at the back of my head.

i felt it bled. it was horrible. it wasnt scary though. surrpringly.
i was like im dying -.- (that kind).. damn cacat. damn stupid.

shldnt i be facing the bullets to dodge them???
how can i dodge bullets w my back faced to them?

i cld do with sweet dreams dear sleeping angel.

2007-06-12T19:49:00.000+08:00

i'm such a pathetic bitch...........

am i the only non-materialistic bitch ard in this world?
am i the only one tt belives money isnt the only thing that makes the world go round???
am i the only one that thinks bld ties are stronger than dollars and cents???
(at least i used to then...)

i'm running a dunno what the fark temp. yet i'm plonked on my blaardy chair. and whining away to becca and to my blog. i dunno what i wld do if i didnt whine to becca.... oh man. moni used to be my pillar of strength..
looks like i've seeked solance in u.

i hate being sick. no matter how much i try not to feel helpless and hopeless, i still do... i juz long for that lil tender loving care. i juz long for attn when i crave and to be left alone when i want to...but i get non... non at all. i dun even ask. i juz mind my own business and hide at my own corner. do i sound like i'm self-pitying?? how sad. coz i'm nv like that.. maybe i'm not as strong as i think i am.

i juz want my OLD mummy to be my side. not hte changed mummy she is now...
i feel hurt. its almost like i dunno her anymore. everyday i pray to GOD to give her the wisdom. everyday i pray she wldnt drift too far.. everyday i juz wish i can slap the shit outta her head......

i talk to moni. she makes me happy. she makes me laugh. she been calling me lots lots. simply becoz i'm a replacement to her lappie. but i aint complaining. i need her as much as she needs me. mayb i need her even more. she says i'm her happy pill. i said she's my.. i dunno wat i said... but something sweet. along the line..... not that impt .. AT ALL

moni moni.. thinkin of u makes me wanna farking cry.
i forgot dan called directly to u. u know hw we always chit -chat crap and non-stop??
we got carried away. he came. he yelled non-stop. ouch..
but for him to come over and start commenting like buy ur own phone card coz u've started working.
ya la fark head. i've started working. but wtf do u think. they stuff my pocket with money everyday at work is it.
it isnt payday smark fark. so u even think i wanna take a single cent frm u if i can help it... (then explain how i stubbornly refused to ask for money when u conveniently pretended that i dun need MONEY!!!!!!)

did it even occur to u how i am gonna survive n the 12th to 24th?? oh! my apologies. i forgot coz ur brain is tooooo PUNY!!!!!!!!!! ur brain cells aint enough to process the info that i need money for 12th to 24th..

did it even occur to u that i din go to the doc even though my fever been way too long coz of MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no u dun care.. all u think is that i'm a selfish fark head who fleeces of u. go do some soul-searching u miserable piece of shit.

chits is another fark head. ya. ya. i know she did like tons for me. and i appreaciate that. but it cuts with a knife when u act like a cloned trex and ask 20 farking dollars to help me top up my farking card.

i mayb sound unreasonable. but i dun care anymore. its ur farking payday. i din ask u when ur low and dry u heartless creature. and i bet my life u wldnt react tt way with the farking guys now wld u??????? FARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK u!!!!!!
when u wan money only u come and ask me. when i ask u .. u treat me like i'm some parasite. nabei. i ask u every day, every wk, every mth is it. in fact this is the only time i asked okie. and the farking reason is i need a farking transport to farking go to work like farkhead. if not i wldnt even bother asking u top up for me.

u think i'm gg gallavanting with my topped up card ar. even if i go so what. then go gallavanting at ur age is it. nabei. dun make me say things which i know i'll eventually regret. well maybe.. maybe not.

i hate money coz ppl are dependent on them. i hate things i must depend on.
what ever it is, one thing i have learnt frm life. u can only depend on urself.
and nv wish, wonder and crave for things that do not belong to u..

build everything frm scratch if u have to.. afterall, the day u entered the world u came with nothing.. i'm ambitious. but at my own expense. sometimes even stupidly...

rmb what i say lil sista. close as we maybe now, u'll nv noe the day i might turn my back on u. though i'm not that kind and nv wanna be..but if that day shld ever come, just slap me and tell me u love me and dun give up on me...

i've always been a sucker....

p/s: i nv knew momsi wld change so much. but at least she gave us good memories.. we shld be thankful.

2007-06-09T20:49:00.001+08:00

2007-06-09T20:44:00.001+08:00

i forgot to whine and add that the working life sucks in every angle. well expect the getting paid part. dad was yadaing yadaing abt the workers welfare in aussie and it farking rawks okie. nabei!!!!

i only hv like one and a half day of day off. damn fark. they think i NO LIFE. :( :(
now that i hv tt shitty schedule. my sun is SOOOOOOOOOO precious...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i juz wanna hug SUNDAY and tie it to myself so that it will nv run away.. i sound psychotic. yesh yesh fever burnt my brain.

i wldnt mind one and a half day off if im working at some pet sitter or smthg. -frowns-

and MOST IMPT sorry for the screwed out meeting dear becca.
i dun think so i will be sick nx sat okie! afterall.. lightning doesnt exactly strike twice in the same place rite??
u know wats the irony. my colleagues warned me... that this wld happen. the being sick part. come to think of it. years ago. attachment at that same ward make me sick too!!

the only good thing of this crap is that i feel sick on fri. i wld die if it was a tues or mon... i cannot make it...

2007-06-09T20:33:00.000+08:00

im sick and dying.
vomitted at work.
almost K.O while counting down for work end.

god was kind.
i almost missed my bus stop coming hm.
i slpt like a blardy pig and i meant it.
the moment i opened my eyes, it was my bus stop. i rushed down to the door.
i din press a bell. some one else did. coz someone else was alighting too.
how lucky can i be? we all know hw ulu tt bus stop opp the church can be.

mayb tt person wan an angel. shrugs.
HEY! i recognised her. but i din care.
mayb that was an angle in disguise stealing her look.
sorry fever burnt my brain.

wondering wtf i am doing online?? i also dunno.
i shld go and sleep.

work is better. but still shitty.
i wasnt w tt bitch today. GOOD.
being sick with a bitch is death.

i miss moni.
she calls and sings to me. its nice.
she calls and yells NO PORK i SAID NO PORK!!!
i and i go grrr!!! u call 7000 miles away to shout no pork at me is it?..

i juz found out trex suck at photography.
thank god for lil brat. he a budding photographer.
i wonder if this is an extremely long post coz it sures feel like it.
but rest assured i took less than 10 mins to type out this crap.

i know wat u mean moni. but by the time u read this post.. i wonder when..
i hv tt image of chiwa when she was sleeping w us..
mucho got hammered left rite center by bro.
stupid dog urinated when he was left for a mere 5 mins. dunno wtf is his prob.

bye bitches. i love u all.

2007-06-07T18:31:00.000+08:00

moni cant blog no more... oh man. i'm her biggest fan.. sobs sobs sobs sobs...
dad's bringing her lappie back coz its screwed up.

i hv been so sad and blue and preoccupied that i hv forgotten that dad and dan coming hm.. i'm like estatic. i wanted to slp.. but felt guily coz i ate alot..

slp and eat.. is BAD..!!!

and i think i'm becoming fatter. tt is so sad. i really nv eat too much ma. except yday. thurs, me wani and em had sakau sushi buffet. it was awesome la.. i ate like i havnet ate in a millenium.... its all finger food. and u know hw much a sucker i am for those..

i wanna go again.. but becca said she's not a fan of sushi. -pouts- em brought us to funan the IT mall. the makan place there has the biggest variety ever. i had like 3 pieces of salmon.......... yummy yummy yums alrite. and those big sushi stuffed w soft shell crap.... slurps. and crabmeat dipped in batter. bloody fantastic la. shit la. i drolling already..

but how can ONE HUGE DINNER make me gain 2 kg???? -cries-

***********************************************************************************

work is horrid.the ppl are okie la. except for one typical bitch. she acts like i owe her a living. she ignores me and leaves me to die. but when i dunno wat to do for miss things out. she looks like she'll kill me. farking bitch. go and get screwed la.
will die is it if u more helpful to me...:(

i hope all i need is more time to get used to it and feel welcomed. but there is not one who pays attn to me.. or us for the matter. (the new grads). they juz ignroe us. only when we ask then the teach. oki... wat is wrong w tt u may ask??? but the thing is that, I DUNNO what to ask. i dunn wat is expected to me. i feel LOST.. grr.
but iwill survive. i can do it. i hv my love ones and i hv GOD most imptly..

********************************************************************************
damn, benji is smellyyyyyyyyyyyyy. i havent bath his since dad left. damn it. dad is gonna be so mad and disappointed at me.. u know the think is that i know hw dad will react but i dun seem to care.

for ex: when dad is comin back frm work, i know he'll b mad if the dishes are not done. and yet i will chose not to do and take my time. and when dad gets mad.. i'll go -shrugs- nothng new and i expected that.
but when dad is not mad, i'll be like 0.O.. wow.. he's not mad.
hahahaa

mayb to me making dad mad is like a game.
he becomes mad and i go score 1 i knew it..
he's alright and i'll go wow.. dad is not dad today. hahaha

cheap thrills.

i miss moni. i cant chat w her online no more.....
and becca isnt online. i msged faz. tt useless dunno how to rep. :(

2007-06-05T18:50:00.000+08:00

i never thot i wld actually blog today...
been really really tired. cldnt slp last nite.
was practically sleeping at work cum class..
and on my way home.. :(

now tt i am home. i cant slp. i called mum. shes at supermkt.
said she'll call me an hr later. its already an hr. but no call.
bet she'll call when i'm gonna doze off. pfff!

i was happy to see becca dear online.
but tt skank' ignoring me. :(
but i shall forgive her. coz she has declared her love for me on her blog. muaha:X

anyways. notihng to say. gonna slp.
i'm hungry but lazy to eat.
i need a haircut. i need a hair dye but most imptly, i need to pluck my eyebrows nw...

been sleeping with JUST an oversized T and my undies. its feels comfy.
i regret not sleeping like this earlier..
when dad comes back, i cant slp this way.. mayb i might. if the T is like BIG BIG BIG.
but most prob i wont.. can u imagine.. gg round the hse half naked when ther is ppl?? sigh.
i think benji finds me sexy. he refuses to be on the bed w me. -shrugs- i hv more place..

bye bitches. i miss u. pls call me or visit me. i'm a poor lonely soul. hahaha. -faints- hv a great day. and pray for me for i'm stepping into the ward tmr. -gasp-

2007-06-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

thanks becca dear for being there for me. i am gonna miss u loads. miss ur presense .. miss ur late nite talk. damn.. juz miss u sleeping beside me.. miss squeezing with me.. HUGS HUGS HUGS.

besides the fact of a-z. (grinx).:X we r farking evil ppl. oh man.

anyways.. *giggles* *giggles* i love ur reaction of a-z. *faints

u take care babe. till i see u again.

to the useless ppl of the world. i start work tmr. which means i have no life. how sad. how painful. i'm guessing my blog is gonna D to the E to the A to the D..

moni dear, U R A FARKING BITCH. have u forgotten me?? damn u
faz dear, u r another bitch. study so hard for wat. not scared become too clever meh.. say i so demanding .. sobs. how dare u say u rather me be materialistic so u can buy me things and shut me up? nv die before rite.. see if i dun whack u soon. muahahaha.

bye bitches of the world. i love u tons. my sad life revolves ard u all coz i dun hv a choice. sobs sobs. i damn farking drama. must be the running tots of gg to work tmr. its like life sentence. pls pray i get a good enviroment....

I DUN WAN GO WORK!!! I DUN WAN GO WORK!!!

:( i wonder whre is gv? and ems.. they nv call me. i hope they're not mad at me or smthg.. geee.....

2007-06-01T15:01:00.000+08:00

amma just told me chiwa's gone.. gone for good. a week ago.
i had no idea. i didnt even said goodbye..
mamaa brought her to be put down. -ouch-
i'm so afraid. one day... its gonne be the same for mucho and benji.
i dunno how i'm gonna take it. i really dunno. i dun even wanna think abt it or imagine.. damn it.
:.(

in loving memories of chiwa.
i pray doggie heaven is kind to u. bye lil one... forever and ever..

2007-06-01T13:54:00.000+08:00

hey i forgot to add. u know i went to the western food stall. and the ah beng was there.. ur 'steven' wahahhaha.... he still the same lei. skinny tatooed ah beng. u miss him a norts moni moni bo moni???

2007-06-01T13:20:00.000+08:00

the final part of the my grandma story!..
.....on our way hm rite, jj msged becks a POC date. u know wat was funny. juz tt same morning... (the snake morning).. faz msg me too. asking for POC date. wahaha. I"M SORRY FAZ I DIN REPLY. I WAS IN A WORLD OF MY OWN. but i guess u already know.. *paisheh*...
when becca showed me the msg then i rmb. heh. so i ended up tagging along.
the movie was awesome. eventhough i was lost at the storyline.. haha. faz explained it to me though.
and johnny depp and orlando bloom and keira knightly were HOT STUFF... sigh. i cld watch a million times juz to see them again and again and again...

its was late and jj gamely stayed over...he became benji playmate in no time. it was cute and funny.. benji was one min wat we call 'humz' and the nx min clownning away... becca was busy with her last min project..

tt girl is the ultimate. tmr morning presentation at 12 mN then she start. power la. i stare at her doing her work. i stared at jj using my lappie to flirt with girls and to watch porn. so poor bored me juz stared and stoned and i occationally went.. benJI... benJI..

aft tt we became adventurous. sneaked out of hm and went to 7-11. but alas, how adventurous can u get at bt purmei. -pouts-

we came back and SNORED.. well at least tt was wat i did. -.-
the nx morning we walked becca to the bus stop with benji trotting. hhaha..

i was supposed to go to town.but i wasnt in the mood to do so. tt was when jj was like dun go then i stay until 5. i was grateful. coz i had an excuse now. wahahha.
so i msged shan. asking if she wanted to come over instead.

so shan and her sis came over..
slacked a while...
and we all left ard 5 plus..
i had dinner with shan and her sis.
jj went on his way...

damnit typing a grandmother story is so freaking tiring...

oh okiex. anyways i got back my uniform from the tailor. i told chits i need it by friday so she assumed i start work on fri.. haha. she felt so cheated when i said MONDAY. then she was like y u tell me fri? then i said ya la. i tell u friday then only i can get it by today wats. if not u gimme on sunday nite rite.. muahaha. evil evil me!

ltr today me gonna fetch becca frm school. damn it looks like its gonna rain. and we gonna fool ard as always...

shathish spend the nite here. i was damn tired surprisingly. since i always had a hard time sleeping.. mayb coz i dun hv company then i cannot slp. yenna logic? muahah. i wanted to watch ocean 11 till the end. but i cldnt stay awake. shath was like akka u sleeping already ar? * a 100 times. i mumbled. yea yea.. ltr i wake up. which i nv did. like duh!!!

oh and annae bought the yummiest sambal stingray... my goodness i can eat tt all day long alrite. -drools-

i'm suppose to be chatting with spoilt brat. have a fucking good day people.buaiz.

2007-05-31T20:53:00.001+08:00

i'm watchin 50 first dates on TV.. i've watched it before.. so.. i'm kinda surprised i'm ascutally watching it happily.. knowing that i dun really like watching a movie twice as i find it a waste of time wahahha...

sigh! i would love somemore to make me fall in love again and again and again.. and NO.. i dun wan any brain damage. :X.. can one fall in love again and again and again without brain damage? heh.. yea. random tots..

i'm anxious to start work on monday. i hope everything goes well and easy. i hate NEW things. okie not really. i hate new things that dun go well. yea..:(
my show start already.. buaiz!!! lol.

2007-05-31T19:21:00.000+08:00

i'm back to continue the rest of my grandmother story. surprisingly, i am still not in the mood to blog. been in a very blah! -.- mood..

i stayed over at becca hse rite..
the nx day we went w nana to send pebbles for a haircut
we took a cab.
it was raining.
the cab turned at the junction.
the uncle spotted a snake at the middle of the junction.
we were all pretty amused and shocked.
how often do u see a snake in the middle of a junction on a rainy day.??? ZERO CHANCE!
i guess the snake wldnt survived. huge snake on a heavy traffic = death
i cldnt see clealy no thanks to my 100 degress pair of eyes.

we reached the 'doggie salon'
left pebbles there. the guy was nice. coz we were late.
and pebbles time slot was over. by right we had to bring her home and come again.
but the guy allowed to house pebbles in case they had an available slot. so sweet of him.

we had mac. aft tt we asked nana to go hm since we didnt know how long pebbles wld be stuck.
nana and we went our separate ways. we walked all the way to the bus interchange passing by tt junction.

we were half expecting to see a bloody mess of snake roadkill.

surpised. there were no indication of anything like that. 0_o!!! the snake juz disappeared into thin air. we were thinking so fast ar the snake got cleared. becca was saying mayb someone like uncle richard rescued it. haha....

to be continue... haha like some cheena drama serial. faints!!..
anyway i juz did all the hsework. feeling like a bloody maid now. argh
mopped and sweeped. washed the clothes. removed the clothes frm the bamboo.
folded the clothes. hung the washed clothes. grrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now wat is left is clothes needed to be hand washed only.
i din mop trex rm and moni rm. :X too lazy and i din really occupy those rooms rite. so shld be clean la. i'm gonna disturb benji now. i'm feeling blue. i need pet therapy. :(

2007-05-31T09:32:00.000+08:00

i get irritated when there is tons to blog.. coz i havent blogged for a super long time.. argh..
and i get irritated when there is nothing to blog.. but at least i can whine...

heh!!.. on MONDAY, i went to sgh and then to kk. to do my license and to collect my uniform respectively. bloody hell to do the bloody license in took forever and ever more alright. i waited close to 2 plus hrs juz do get it done!!!

i received a msg frm becca. telling she she wanted to meet me. so i juz told her my plans and told her that i dun wanna promise her anythg in case it gets cocked up as it was too early.. (sheepish smile..)

then aft tt finally at kk. becca called me. i told her we're at kk and if u wanna come just come la.. they wanted to dosai!!.. so we walked frm kk to lil india..
i msged becca to call me when she reached so i can guide her to the makan place..

tt goondu girl ar. the place so near, she walked half way round the world..
i told her walk straight frm tekka mall. she walked straight frm the OTHER direction..
finally when she walked straight the correct way. (she turned into the alley).. -faints- i said walk straight!!! i din say turn into any alley. hah!..poor thing la she. i knew she must hv lost her way coz she took too long.. just nice, aft i ate, she called me and said I GIVE UP. i laughed at her. :X so i went down and walked to tekka mall and fetched her!!..

OMG. i'm getting LAZY and TIRED to blog..
tekka mall we went bugis.
walk walk walk to find shoes. no nice shoes.
bag heavy, me tired. becca psychoed me to go her hse.
i was like faints. so i called annae ever sweetly if he can take ben for the nite. only one nite.
he ever sweetly agreed. (SURPRISED)..
aloy was patrolling..
we met him for a short while.
he looked cool in his gear.
his fren was there. at a dist.
aft yakking for 5 mins, we walked to bus stop and took 33 to tbp

while waiting for bus. aloy msg becca. tell ur cousin my fren single.
i was like oh okie. thanks for telling me. ask him gimme his photo then i can pass to all of my frens...(-.-)

we were gg to my place. take my stuff. head for the nite atbecca place..
shall cont.. ltr.

(1) abt tt disappearing snake aft an accident at a juction
(2) caribbean date.
(3) the morning aft..

omg. so many stuff. i cannot tahan.

2007-05-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

today i have been the biggest bitch alive.
i have upsetted someone very special to my heart.
i have upsetted my everdearest rebecca. and i wanna apologise for not being able to go to her place as planned.

dear becca,
i am sorry. i know u r upset with me. in fact, i am also very upset at myself. its never easy and i am always trapped in such a horrible horrible situation. i dunno how to explain in words...
i know this is not the first time.. but it seems so hard for me... maybe i shld shuddup coz my my explaination sounds like an excuse.
i feel so bad. guilt-ridden i am so shy to contact u.
i cldnt find a more worse time to tell u this but.. i cant bring myself to cancel this saturdays date..
its my frens's sister's wedding this sat. (erm.. its in the evening though)..

unless of course u dun mind till aftnn. but.. i afraid to take such risk. please dun kill me. i nv mean to be this horrible shit-ass person.

i'm running away now. ermm. u do know i love u !

shamefully,
steph

2007-05-26T12:40:00.000+08:00

PISCES

Spirit: Search for security
Ego: Unrealistic, compassionate, perceptive, theatricalPersonality: Shy, timid, romantic, sociable

Ruling Planet: Neptune
Empowerment Colors: Lavender, mauve, white
Moderating Colors: Lemon
Best Day: Friday
Fortunate Stones: Aquamarine, chryoslite
Body Rulership: Feet, lymphatic vessels and glands
Best Foods: Lemons/limes, buckwheat, cabbage, brown rice

As the twelfth sign of the zodiac, Pisces represents the twelfth and finalstage in the evolution of man and his place in the universe.
Here, the desire is to use all that has been learned and assimilated in order to gain perfection; of man as an individual and humanity as a whole.
This perfection leads man to his rightful place in the universe. Though not all Pisceans occupy their time with such lofty aspirations as attaining their rightful place in the universe, the notion of perfection is a strong factor in their personality.
They find it difficult to deal with people and situations that do not live up to their idealized images.
It isn't that they can't see things clearly, they just don't want to accept things as they really are. Seeking greater perfection than the real world is capable of producing, they often turn to religion or other spiritual and philosophical disciplines.

Pisceans readily adapt to change. This trait is a strength because it is a survival mechanism, and a weakness because it makes them vulnerable
to the demands and influence of other people.

In spite of their sensitive personality and delicate physical constitutions, most Pisceans are survivors. Their adaptability allows them to outlast those who may be much stronger. Because they so readily identify with the feelings of others, and willingly adapt themselves to different people and changing circumstances, they risk the exploitation or loss of their own needs, ideas, and talent. The opposite side of the coin is that adaptability also allows Pisceans to gain personal power over those they understand so well and turn it to their own advantage.

The fish is the astrological symbol for Pisces. The fish is pictured as a double figure seen to swim in either direction. This represents the ultimate Piscean choice; either to be strong and overcome weakness inherent in their sensitive nature, or to become the victim of this acute vulnerability. Pisceans react emotionally to everything they experience in life. Before they take physical action, before they sort out the practicality of what they are doing, and before they reason things out intellectually, they give in to their feelings. Compassionate and fair-minded, they are not at all afraid to bend unbreakable rules if the situation demands a more humane approach.

They make excellent judges, sensitive administrators, and inspirational teachers. Their surplus of emotions implies an addictive nature, and thus it is necessary to avoid habit-forming drugs and other substances. To maintain their emotional equilibrium, they need a private spot or at least a private time for daily retreat and relaxation. The most creatively stimulating and soothing environment for Pisceans is near water, preferably the ocean.
The modern ruler of Pisces is Neptune, planet of the spiritual and sensitive qualities in man. Ancient astrologers assigned Pisces Jupiter, a planet also associated with spirituality as well as thirst for knowledge and understanding. These planets represent similar traits and both of them influence Piscean personalities. They are idealistic, sensitive, and love to play martyr. They are often shy and would much rather impersonate someone else than be themselves. That's why so many are actors, artists, writers, and dreamers. Their association with elusive Neptune makes it hard to predict how Pisceans will develop. Some of them are neat and well organized, while others become slovenly and careless.

Personal habits are often a direct reflection of emotional reactions to their environment. Their imaginations are limitless, an ability that makes them successful writers of fiction or turns them into pathological liars. Unique ability to understand the abstract can make them gifted mathematicians and theorists, or it can put them so out of touch with reality that they make no sense at all. As if to directly confront their own vulnerability, many Pisceans are daredevils and risk-takers, becoming race car drivers, aviators, explorers, and hunters.

Their emotional nature can make them compulsive eaters who face a lifelong battle of the bulge. Sports and physical fitness routines are a good way for them to keep in shape as well as reduce their emotional stress. Horseback riding, dancing, skating, swimming or sailing are favored activities.

Piscean colors are pale green, purple, rose, and gray-blue. Vulnerable parts of the body are the feet and lymphatic system. Swelling, allergic reaction to drugs, and sore feet are common complaints, but their emotional nature can also make them vulnerable to psychosomatic illness. The Piscean birthstone is the aquamarine.

The sea-colored aquamarine becomes invisible when submerged in water. This is an appropriate representation of the shy Pisceans who often wish they could disappear as easily. Flowers for Pisces are the orchid, lilac, wisteria, water lily (lotus), poppy (white), and pansy.

p/s: i know u wanna read urs. hahha.

http://www.astralcycles.com

2007-05-26T02:50:00.000+08:00

wow! creativity is boundless. its amazing at the stuff ppl can come out with..... haha

Kissing Is A Habit
Fuuckking Is A Game
Guys Get All The Pleasure
Girls Get All The Pain
10 Minutes Of Pleasure
9 Months Of Pain
3 Days In The Hospital
A Baby Without A Name
The Father Is A Bast4rd
The Mother Is A Wh0re
This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber
Hadn't Tore!!

Sex is like math
You subtract the clothes
Add the bed
Divide the legs
And Pray to god
You dont multiply

Roses are red
Grass is green
Open your legs
And I'll fill you with cream

Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggy Style & 69
Just for fun
Or gettin paid
Everyone likes gettin laid

roses are nice
violets are fine.
ill be the six
if you be the nine.

sexxx is evil
sexxxx is a sin
sins are forgiven
so stick it in

2007-05-26T02:05:00.000+08:00

i finally met up with gang (minus gnana).
it was wonderful. eating with great company. and exchanging stories... sigh.
ranjini loved her new present. she has too alright!!!. lol. we had a hard time thinking of wat to get her.

moni called me when i was squashed up in the bus on the way to seafood. she sounded pissed when i went i cant talk to u now. I AM SORRY ALRIGHT?? U HOBO BOBO...

anyways i reached home at 1 am plus plus. yea roll ur eyes a million times. from today onwards. i vow never to travel in such odd hours unless i have company. serious. so i apologise to everybody in advance that i'm gonna give myself curfew till 8pm. (depending of course how far i am away from home)... argh. the tension of coming hm is so horrible. its a wonder why i nv realised coz i always had someone sending me home alright. or at least waiting till i hopped onto a cab. this time i came home all by myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. aright

i was telling ranjini the moment i got home that i am nv nv nv gonna come hm so late. i dun care anymore. she was like HUH??! then clubbing how (p/s: we planned clubbing nx nx wk.) i was like i dun care. i aint coming hm late unless someone comes home with me. hhahahaha..

i am utterly heart brokened. i din get a call from dad and dan. i tot they wld call like the moment they reached or smthg. but NO!!!!!!!!!.. poor forgotten me.
i had to call them instead. and mum was like yada yada. we r at uncle calvin hse. i will call u back in a hrs time .. yada yada. rolls eyes a million times again.

i waited and waited and waited but the phone call nv came. ya la. i know u all super busy catching up. but when u say smthg, and i am utterly so free doing nothing, pls be considerate and wat u say coz ur words will be etched in my mind and waitng and waiting and waitng alright.... argh.

ita amazing how ppl can be so incosiderate and unfeeling at the perfect time. DUH! hmph. -.-!

i juz wrote a long lovely mail to dad. coz i know hw tt kiasu love to read long long mails. wahhaha.. actually i also love to read and write long long mails. muz hv gotten that weird gene frm him no doubt. -shrugs-

moni is such an ass. i tagged her so sweet. and she replied me w some bad words. utterly heart broken. burn in hell bitch.. -sticks tongue out-

2007-05-25T11:34:00.000+08:00

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!! i know wat name!!
my lovers name is BACARDI.
coz bacardi is nice.
it makes me go high and dreamy and happy.
juz like a lover...

all hail my lappie. my Bacardi.

2007-05-25T11:33:00.000+08:00

sorry. i forgot to add he accompanies me when i wait for my loved ones to come online... sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs.

very soon i'm gonna bring him out for a date for everything he has done..
-contented sigh-

2007-05-25T11:24:00.000+08:00

i have a lover. my latest scandal.
he is always ther for me 24/7.
he accopanies me especially well during my lonely nites.
he nv complains. he nv runs away.
he there when i beckon.
he accompanies me when i game.
he accompanies me when i blog.
he accompanies me when i watch porn.
he accopanies me when i watch movies.
he accopanies me when i do my work.
he even accompanies me when i watch tv.
its a wonder when i nv appreciated him before.
he's name is .....
(erm. i had trouble choosing a nice nice name..think abt it a little longer)
and he is my lappie.
i love my lappie.

2007-05-25T09:59:00.000+08:00

its ten here. so its 12 on that side. i juz woke up not too long ago.
they have landed. lil dan muz be hippity hoppity with excitement and joy he can join the rabbits at the backyard. wahhaha.

i wonder how come dad isnt online. and i wonder how come they havent given me a call. or mayb they did but i was too deep in slp. coz when becca msged me. i din hear it till i woke up to check my phone...

anyway talking abt dreams. i dreamt i was swimming. in some theme park like place.
i was sliding down. this fat ah pek was blocking me on the slide so i juz pushed him. haha. and he went *whoosh down the slide. :X

then aft tt i went out the pool. i was with juliana. (shan cousin) i dunno what she was doing in my dreams. it was only me and juliana. than i went outta the pool. for a little rest. when we wanted to get back into the pool. suddenly the announced they gonna clean the pool. which was kinda annoying. i mean why clean the pool when its so early and ppl are still havin fun? lol. i was whining to jul. the were sucking the water out immediately. and the pool beccame super dirty. there were still some ppl in the pool. either slow or stubborn to get out. and they looked weird in a dirty half full pool. haha. i then commented lucky we nv jump into the pool because we r dry now. and if we jumped in juz to get out a second ltr it wld be utterly distasteful. hah!!

i went to the second floor. whre amma and a few othere were relaxing at the makan place.
then i saw they had 3 lap pools. i was surprised. all of the equally big. all of them equally deep. it was filled with nice good looking guys. i think they were good looking coz they had hot bods. tee hee hee. i went to see how deep the pool was it read 7 meters. i was what... 7 metres? since when pool were that deep. wahhaha. i wanted to plunge in but then i woke up!!!

at last its juz some weird dream

number 1: one wld nv clean a pool in the middle of a day
number 2: whre got they suck water out when ppl still in the pool.
number 3: 3 big pools filled with lots of water cannot tahan on a 2nd floor. water is heavy and its structually impossible.

hahaha. wth.. i think i'm swimming deprived or smthg. damn they shld hv cleaned the pool aft i had my fun rite?

i wish i had dreamt of gg to mel or smthg. whoa!!! it jus dawned upon me that i literally had wet dreams. (in a way..) hahahah.

2007-05-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

i was on msn w moni. so surprised. coz it wat 8pm. which means it was 10 pm her time. which is considered late. hahah. but nontheless, i was happy happy to msn her. she so cute. she happy dad and dan gonna be ther la. but i tell u she most prob only happy that dan gg and not dad. hahha. and she happy cause when dad and dan there, she's gonna have a feast everyday. well. BE CAREFUL. DUN U GO AND GAIN 10 KG OKIE???? hahaha..

oh btw, while msning w moni, she said my blog was v funny coz it made her laugh. i was like thinking to myself funny meh?? coz i juz crap everything out without planning.. unable to beleive it i went back to my blog and read. then i realise YESH. i was laughing at my own post. dunno y also. then i told her MAN! u r rite I AM funny!!!! then she was like the usual.. speechless and -.-! and the dash dots dash. haha. so funny!.

dad and dan muz be sleeping in the plane now. pray for them a safe journey... dan muz be so excited. saw him burning in excitement.

in the end aft all the drama. the last min ask me to follow them in the car. i was like huh??? i nv change yet lei.
(psst! lucky i bath u know faz.. if not i go being smelly and w my oily hair. ewwwwwwww!)

u know how guys used to say we girls are fickle minded. its so not true. well in my household that is. mayb coz girls are more influential. i tell u the guys in my hse are so freaking fickle minded...

one min they say i go in mrt.
one min they say annae not coming so i can tag along in car.
one min say too many big luggage. no place in car. so i cant go in car.
another min say if not better u dun come. no need come.
finally! literally the last min say.. come la. can squeeze.

they think wat.???!! playing games time ar.. aiyohhhh....

on the way to the airport. (daniel the baby buffolo was sitting on my lap) it was kinda weird knowing his almost as big as me .. infact slightly bigger than me.
he was telling me how a doctor came to the school and gave all the primary 5 sexs talk. haha. he was complaining how the students were so irritating coz they all went EWWWW!!! and AAAAHHH!! and YYUUUCCKKS!!!..
hahah
yea.. at this age they all go tt. in 5 yrs time, all the guys will become regular wankers and all the girls will become sluts in the making. *ahem. sorry .. got a bit carried away..

i was joking with him!!! was it fun?? i always loved having this kinda talk. haha. i was surprised la. they primary 5 only got this kinda talk. and they din bother separating the girls from guys.

and apparantly daniel was sharing w me what they said. like stage 1. boys will be like i dun like girls. and girls will be like i dun like boys. and stage 2. boys will disturb girls. stage 3. start to hold hands.. and the list goes one. kinda cute to hear daniel telling me.. wahhahaha!.. he even went on to say how they talked abt penises and vagina. whooooo!!! talk abt sex education.

if u ask me, frankly i feel exposing them to sex stuff too soon is bad. coz the younger u are when u are exposed, u most prob wanna wanna experiment w it at a younger age too. to hell with ignorance in NOT bliss. i think making they aware so that their curiosity wont get the better of them is utter rubbish. in fact, talks like this supplements thier curiosity. wahhaha.. havent u seen the drastic increase in unwanted pregnancies despite awareness. ??? (actually, i drama only. i dun even know the stats. but i'm guessing most prob its increasing...)

okie.. on the way to the airport, peishan msged me. asking me weird qsn like hw i gg back. and wat time i leaving the airport. i was like y that girl so kpo!! haha. then i realiesd she wanted to look for me. so accompany me. i was surprised coz it was late. then i realised hamm was dropping her off at my place. but alas he cldnt find his way here. he dropped her off at tbp and went to MOS to shake his belly!!!. :X wahhaha.

yea so peishan and i watched our cheena show, ate ice-cream. and watch nanny 911. its like super nanny but another version. i prefer super nanny. the parents in the nanny 911 are weird. they didnt exactly co-operate w the nanny.

i dunno whats benji problem. he doesnt wanna slp w me. either he proud or he merajuk. i was thinking of sleeping w/o the aircon. so i open the door. benji simply refused to slp on my bed despite me calling him. i call him he come and he go out and slp in the dark on the floor.

then aft tt i decide to on the aircon so i can lock benji in. i on the air-con and i call him. this time he slp on MY floor. wat is his prob??! then i call him agian. finally now he is on my bed. SLEEPING WITH 2 OF MY PILLOWS!!! greeedy dog dog he...

tmr i gg out for dinner. i'm gonna eat like a big. i hope the ppl nx door dun make a thurderstorm of me coming back late. yea moni iknow. (pls roll ur eyes a million times and say tt i'm 22) coz apparently some ppl dun care. argh. my ever sheltered life. sigh.. wat can i say?? being a princesss comes with a HUGE price. ahem. mayb its high time i start acting like a SPOIL BRAT!!!. -hmph-

2007-05-24T13:25:00.000+08:00

dan juz came back.
with his report book.
he failed everything.
know whats worse?.. he does not have remourse.
know whats the bigger joke?.. he insist that band 4 is not a fail
know wats even more amusing?.. he gets pissed off with me when i explained to him.

to think that he is damn freaking lucky. if i were to come back at p5 with such results, i think i'll be murdered before i can give any explaination. or rather i wldnt even dare to come home.

its weird how things change. i mean its good that trex's more lenient in academically wise. however, i feel daniel doesnt even deserve it. coz he's the kind that takes things for granted. i dunno wat to do with him.

wat the biggie? i aint his mother. fark it damn it.

2007-05-24T12:29:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went to get ranjini her bday gift. i got her an earring stand. it can hold 96 pairs or earrlings. i hope she likes it. hell! she has to like it. hah. it was quite hard to get a gift for her. we wanted to get her tops. but she's kinda fussy. lol. so we were afraid it might not be to her liking... :X

today, trex and lil brat are flying. i'm gonna be so lonely and so upset. i'm more upset now. trex just had to keep on rubbing at my face like how he wish i was flying w him. and he's sorry that i have to left behind coz of ben ben. wth. i know la. quit repeating alright. anyway frankly, i do find looking aft ben ben part is kinda nonsense. i mean its not exactly like there is no one to help. u mean big bro cannot look aft him or amma cannot feed him meh??? -shrugs-
worst come to worst. juz tapao benji and put with becca. hahaha. then she can hear him snort every nite.

i half half understand dad la, he dun wanna trouble ppl. so i'm not like disappointed or smthg. but i juz get annoyed at how he rubs it on my face.
anyways i dun really feel like going to the airport at this time. its like so -.-! like u know dash dots dash. bleah.i was confused if i shld meet up becca and stay over at her place.
but if i meet her, i wld hv to leave way earlier. which dad nagged at me. of course he wants me to the last min at hm. which i dun understand coz it doesnt exactly make a diff if i'm home or not. some sorts anyways.2ndly, its not really practical staying over since becca has morning sch the nx day.

bet monster is so excited i can feel her excitement. wldnt it be perfect it i were going too.. wahhaa. acutally know wats perfect.??? juz me and daniel gg. hey! actually trex sld stay behind and doggie-sit benji rite. sekali he go there and wreak ur peace. .. heh. i am such a farked-up child.

oh man. gtg. dad needs help. supersteph to the rescue. -faints-

2007-05-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

i met faz today. .. finally. aft so so long. :) psst! faz.. i din return dad the 50 bucks. he din ask. maybe coz he was busy getting ready for work. whahha. i feel like a cheater bug. tmr i make sure i return him la..

becca has a new lappy. how exciting. i'm like so happy for her coz its been since dinosaur years since she has waited for one.. :) and guess what she finally has a router too!!! which means the nx time i fly over, i'll bring my lappie along too. muahaaa.. then me and becca can msn each other in hte same room. how exciting. cheap thrills. lol.

spoilt brat has a digicam. its like better than mine.. but of course i like mine better coz DUH its MINE aint it? u know wats the weird part. big bro wanted to get em for me.. i was like dun waste money. i have one already.. if u wanna get me smthg. i rather u get me a psp. wahhaha.. but he kept on inisisiting. in the end he got it for lil bro.

spoilt brat.. living up to his name..started commenting that the cam was most prob 2nd hand.. annae keep on saying 400 but i dun believe mayb he buy from his fren yadayada. -shrugs- how ungrateful. hahaha.. i told him to shuddup and be happy.

random stuff i wanna do.
go and grab some really good books. its been a long time since i've read.
swimming at Jurong,
visit gnana.

although i'll hv my freedom for the nx couple of wks, i'm stuck at looking after benji.
i wish becca cld drive or smthg. then i can bundle that snorty snorts snorts and carry him to becca hse. -pouts-.

i wish becca wld stay with me at hm so we both cld have fun. i mean she can bring her lappy as well. BIG GRINX!!!! but then.. she also has other stuff to do. :(

faz.. run away and stay with me wont yea???
pretty pls. muahahha..
c yea soon.. shall update how dinner went with the gang on fri.

-smuaks-

2007-05-22T00:30:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: March 5

You have many talents, and you are great at sharing those talents with others.
Most people would be jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to elicit jealousy.
Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge ideas.
Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding new challenges.

Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower

Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom

Your power color: Tangerine

Your power symbol: Ace

Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2007-05-21T14:48:00.000+08:00

i miss monica. i miss monica. i miss monica.

2007-05-21T14:41:00.000+08:00

2007-05-21T14:27:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling so sianz... nv tot it wld be this 'tiring' to slack. u knw wat is worse.. i finally realise that its not slckaing that's making me sianx. its juz that i dun hv anyone to enjoy slacking with. that is sad sad sad.

yea i am free. i can go out and look for everyone and anymroe. but the think its i'm flat dead damn broke. i think trex did the right thing in a way. by not giving me money. even amma commented that he didnt give me coz he knows tt i'll go out. but tt is not exactly true. -frowns-

i love being at home. okie love is abt over-exaggerated. i do enjoy being in my private little space. and for the record i am not at only when trex is at home oKIE. so yea. sigh.. i juz realised how much i miss moni and always take her for granted when she was online. yea yea. i know she's like gonna be OBI GOOD at my face. but.. but.. aiyah. enough said.

oh i wanted to say andrea bf is HOT stuff. but his like the typical ultra-shy kind. but hten again i nv know rite. i only stared at him for 30 seconds. lol. wadever. that was juz some random stuff.

moni moni i miss u. call me bitch. dunno how to come online also dunno hw to call ar...??
thgs that's gonna occupy me for the day. amma's tamil movie. and packing lil brat's luggage.woooo... how exciting. -rolls eyes- and faints a million times over.!!!

p/s: u know for a person who hasnt fainted even once in her life, i'm using the faints a million times over phrase a little too much. wahhaha. but i like.

FAINTS A MILLION TIMES OVER.

2007-05-21T00:30:00.000+08:00

i am so bored. i wanna pierce my tongue again. BUT I WONT. its dumb. but i like.. sigh..
i need to get to do smthg before i become craziee. sobs ... any suggestions?? useful and practical ones plez. sigh

please dun tell me to go screw. wank or watch porn. -hmph-

2007-05-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

trex is worst than a woman when he shops. i wanna faint a million times over.
first we took a cab. he wanted to go to robinson's at centrepoint. but he decided to get a phone he really really liked. so we dropped at kiliney rd. at the singtel branch.

after like admring the phone for 15 mins. qeueing (how to u spell that??) for a mumber and waiting for half an hr, he decided he din wan to get a new hp. like wat's the prob. it took u so long to decide is it??

then i had to walk under the HOT HOT sun all the way to robinson's and u ppl know that HOT sun and me do not go together in the same breath. to make matters worse i was juz recovering from fever and flu. double wham!

finally we reached robinson.we walked left right center. nothing there... no department selling luggage bags. the whole place was so croweded i almost hyperventilated. i always know sg was over-populated. -shudders-

then we decided to walk opposite to john little. and thank goodness i saw the board telling us wat products and which level. if not i tell u, we will be spending another hr going left right centre. so we went straight to the luggage store. he took that bag. and this bag. and that bag again and this bag. he went to that corner. and this corner. he opened that bag and this bag.. again and again and again. almost for an hr plus. and finally decided on a brown bhpc. (beverly hills polo club)

nx we went to get bedsheets for mummy and monster. walaueh.. choose and choose n choose. he macam mata potet.
show him its queen size sheets for mum and super single for monster and he will ask again and again and again. and the choices of colours were limited. he wanted to take brown. so eeky and yucky. it sthose kinda dull brown. okie fine i have to say it. its those kind of shitty brown. get it. oh man!!! i cldnt resist. yea shitty shitty brown. i was like NO!. so awful. and i wanted to get bright colurs. i love bright colours and besides pretty bedsheets brightens the room!!.. :)

oh i forgot to add. he was so annoying coz at every oppourtunity he'll go and smoke. argh.

oki aft a big hoo haa at the bedsheets, we went of to the men section above. wat a nitemare. i tell u.. i'm nv gg shopping w him ever again. he saw shorts. he went to try the size. he wanted 34. he said 33 juz fitting. (p/s: he took like forever to try the shorts. i'm guessing its like 15 mins. but it felt like an entire hour to me.)

so aft he came out, he told me 34 just nice. i seached and seached and searched. up down left right centre. i had sales item when they juz dump it and everything is so mixed up. so i searched for him.i even folded some of the pants becoz i was so frustrated. and when i got it. he kept saying stuff like. i dun wan this colour. the material dun wan this kind. i prefer the thicker material. and yada yada. and he had to repeat like a broken recorder abt how he must like wat he buy .. ya dayada yada. aft i dig and dig in the sea of shorts, we realised that 34 was limited. then i asked him. u really cannot wear 33 ar? he said he will go and try again....

and hten he came out saying that he'll take 33. so the whole processing of searching and digging and finding repeated.

aft we walk a over to another area. he found another brand. better quality. and he said he dun wan the one which we digged up for. i wanna faint. we spend close to 2hrs all for nothing...
this time it wasnt so bad. coz the area wasnt so messed up and we managed to get the size fast. aft he got he shorts, he decided to get cargo pants as casual wear.
i stoned for another 2 hrs while he walked here and there to choose. i din know wats the big fuss. they were all the same. slightly diffrent shades. the only diff was the brand. cargo pants is cargo pants and chinos is chinos wat. he wear he try he choose. he go fitting room. i cld hv died waiting. come to think of it i did dust of spider webs from myself.

to end it short. bro fetched us. we eat and we went home. a whole day of boring plus tiring shopping. argh.

2007-05-20T13:18:00.000+08:00

i'm back rather fast. coz i was chatting w jeevi. anyway. been seeing becca lots. which is a super thing. :)

we talk talk talk... and they more we talk the more we dream.
yea. shopping trips to thailand and HK.
gg to Genting and Aussie. hahaha..

anyway.. i do hope we can celebrate our bdays at a chalet together nx year.
u know wats the funny thing.. eventhough we share the same birthday. we havent exactly celebrated together together....

but our recent bdays, at least we are together at the same time. we were planning who to invite and stuff like that. haha. the more we discussed, the more complicated it sounded. until becca said. we shall plan when the time comes. haha. i kiasu. plan so early. i wonder if moni will be in sg during march. it wld be awesome if everybody is here....

jeevi went for kk interview on friday. her interview lasted 1 whole hr. they better employ her i tell u. lol. they havent called her. i'm praying they will call her soon. she deserves it. she's a nice girl and i love her.!!!

bunny dear. i know u have been busy w work and i have been busy falling sick. its so weird. i think i no work. no school. i become sick. stupid rite. i'm still wating for u to date me out. hurry .. love u. tata.

2007-05-20T12:44:00.000+08:00

i really wanna go to aussie with daniel and dad. but the more i think abt it. the more impossible it seems. its like nobody's entertaining me. juz the occasional crap talk asking if i dun wanna go and bla bla. of course i wanna go. but who's gonna sponsor me.

my grams esp. saying that if i dun go now. i wont hv any chance anytime soon coz i'm gonna work. of course i do know that. what i dun understand is that all of u all are speaking as if i dun wanna go. which is obsolute rubbish. argh. dun wanna talk abt it anymore.

anyway.. i havent seen moni online for a super super long time. coz she doeesnt hv internet connection. so sad..

dad asked me to go robinson w him. he juz left the house not too long ago when i was at grams speaking to moni. i dunno where he went. hopefully juz downstairs maybe? shrugs. wats w ppl who ask u out and then juz disappear juz becoz u are 'late'? my grams does this to me too.

okie gtg. bye . I LOVE U MONI. trap that hoppity bunny for me.

2007-05-13T14:35:00.000+08:00

2007-05-13T14:21:00.000+08:00

2007-05-13T14:09:00.000+08:00

i finally watched spiderman 3 with lil bro and dad. the movie was long. and it was good. i enjoyed it. :)

sigh. my dad still havent gimme my pocket money. he's sure taking his own sweet time. :(
he din allow me to get a psp. i dun mind. but the way he nagged at me .. i could hv juz killed myself. argh. and daniel had to add. for wat she want to buys psp. waste of money. its a guys game and he went to complain to my dad juz becoz becca have i also wan. wwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!! so annoying i hv stranggled him there and then. if its true nvm. come and gay kiang act like that i buay tahan...

anyway i've been wanting to get somthing new. a laptop. a desktop. a psp. but all my hopes seems to be crushed. i'm still tempted to get a psp though. mayb i shld juz get it and be happy. mayb if trex gives me pocket money,i'll get a psp. but if he doesnt, i'll hv to use my savings as pocket money.. -shrugs-

its mother's day today. i havent wished mummy. i'm still annoyed at mum. its like i cannot reason out with her anymore. she's this totally diffrent person yet the same. but i know i'll call her ltr part of the day.

my uncle's in the hospital. i dunno wats exactly is wrong with him. one min they said suspected dengue. the nx min they said urinary tract infection. biggie bro had to make me feel guilty about not getting the thermometer on time. u know wats the big joke. they have like 3 thermometers in their kitchen. and they didnt even check. i wanna go visit him ltr w amma.

i havent eat. i'm addcited to mobtv. i watched the entire of maggie. and now i wanna cont watching the cheena show.. bye.

2007-05-13T14:04:00.000+08:00

DARTH VADAR!

2007-05-10T16:26:00.000+08:00

gluttons of the famiy.

haha.. even old folks have fantasies!.

how much more retarded could he get?

random pic of spoilt brat.

the birthday dog

happy birthday to mucho.

mucho. too full after eathing the whole cake. greedy dog.. tsk tsk.

the process of benji turning his head. look at the middle one. macam setan sia. tee hee hee. HAH!

2007-05-10T16:22:00.000+08:00

this is shar. she is gonna get married. wish her all the best. its been 6years since we hung out.

just us. fooling around.

2007-05-10T16:20:00.000+08:00

today is one of the most uneventful day of my life. i shall go and kill myself and make it an eventful day. bye.

2007-05-08T15:11:00.000+08:00

amma at long john at yishun. before watching the tamil show.

i love amma.. eventhogh she can be so annoying. HAH.

spoilt brat. doing wat he does best. PLAYING.

the guys at home. trex and daniel. benji seems to be the only one noticing me. :(

ouch. my poor finger.

he seems to be enjoying it...

he says my finger is finger licking good.

this pic is specially for monster. u see is hippo mouth. bet u laughing ur ass off. i know u prefer big spongy noses to hippo mouths. but juz make do with this pic for the moment. hehehehe.

the way u shake it. i cant believe it. i've never seen an ass like that.!!!

aircon -man came. so my entire morning was spend cleaning and shifting ...
its 3 pm so fast. daniel will be coming back anytime soon. i got lots of new pics of benji. some nonsense one too. byt i'm lazy to upload it. haha. i shall juz see if i have any new pics in my com to upload...

everythings been gg fine so far. peiru asked me to go clubbing at MOS this thurs. but i aint gg. i'm broke and its lil bro exams this week. so i juz wanna be home with him.

i'm meeting faz tmr though. i hope i dun feel awkward. i'm gonna see my sec school friends aft a long long long long time. hell aft .. let me see. one two three...HELL! after 6 whole years without communicationg with them OKIE. not even by msn, sms or wadsoever. its been faz who has been contacting them and meeting them once a blue moon. me?? zilch... i havent heard from time at ALL. gee...

thurs me meeting ranjini and shan. wat else juz to rot and talk...

fri i am gonna find becca hopefully. well. most prob i guess. i wanted to find her earlier. but since aloy is off till thurs, i decided to find her only on Fri. hah. yea. thats abt it.

i'm feeling sticky and stinky. i wanna go bath. but i'm L to the A to the Z to the Y. argh. i'm wondering y moni isint online. :(

i have sick some butterflies on my phone. its nice. i do like it. shall post pics of it when i ahem. free. amma cooked yummy food today. one of the best. but i was too lazy to eat loads. i eat like NONA. but then coz i was lazy and tired. i dunno why. but i've been feeling real tired and lethargic. which is wierd. coz i shld be at the top of my tippy toes and be hyper and everything. but i'm not lei. its like as if i'm in a dazed kinda feeling. its so weird. argh. like i not enough sleep and rest kinda thing. which is nonsense... -shrugs- i hope this tiring feeling ENDS soon. :(

oh. i feel sad for amma. her knees been painful. like some arthiritis thingy. i can see that she is tahaning. but i feel so OUCH. coz i havent seen her like that before. all the while i take advantage of her. take it as if she is a superwoman who will nv be sick and who will alway have energy to cook everyday for me and to yell at me when i irritate her. seeing her like that, something juz hits me... like WAKE UP kinda thing. it suddenly dawned upon me that she is getting old. damn it. i dunno how to explaing. but wadever its a fucked up empty kinda feeling.

i do try my best. bu its nv enuf. its like i have so many things to split myself into. benji. daniel. grams. i wish i cld juz sit beside amma and help her with the chores or just rot beside her. but its nonsense. i know i can nv do that. i will most prob come back to hog the net or hog the phone or juz do my own stuff. the thing is that amma doesnt complain. even when she climb the stairs. i see her face .. on purpose. and i got the slightest hint of her knee pain. the pain of growing old. grrrrr! like today... she juz left quietly to get some stuff downstairs. some teeeny mkt stuff. and i being useless and fat didnt even realise. i wan busy stuffing myself with watever ther was and warming my ass watching cartoon.

then only i realise amma wasnt at hm. gee...

okie la daniel juz came back... bye bye. some random pics. oh i added the pics at the top. lazy to transfer it down. i hoped u enjoyed it. byebye.

2007-05-06T13:20:00.000+08:00

monster's obvious obsession with tobey maguire. wahhahahaha. this bitch actually made me wait while she did this rubbish. SOME PPL SO FREE LEI.. BUT AR I DUNNO WHICH PPL I TALKING ABT.. -hmph-